All Over Again
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: Kendall Knight and James Diamond seemingly aren't on the best of terms in their relationship, and it all comes to a head on Christmas Eve. When Kendall makes a wish out of anger, things change. Now, he tasked with a difficult challenge. Get James to fall in love with him all over again, or risk losing him forever. (Contains Slash)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! No, your eyes are not deceiving you, another new story is here!**

 **This is actually something that I wrote last year, but it wasn't finished in time for Christmas, so I just kind of held on to it. And yes, I know this plot has been done hundreds of times already, but I liked the idea and wanted to give it a shot so...here we are.**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Congratulations on another successful year!" My boss said, holding up his glass of champagne. He's had three glasses too much that evening, but it was for celebration, so hell, let him have it. "Sales have skyrocketed and are up by fifty percent. Cheers and Merry Christmas!"

I raised my glass to the toast and took a sip.

Working at Rocque Inc. for the past seven years had been great, and I'd slowly but surely worked my way up in the ranks. I was only twenty seven and on my way to the top. Not without sacrifice, though.

My fiance complained that I spent too much time at the office and that I worked even while at home. Both were true of course, but all of it would be worth it in the end when I got the director of marketing position-one that would pay over $100k a year.

"Kendall, you are an asset to this company." Gustavo said, bumping his glass to mine. "You'll be at the top someday."

 _That day cannot come soon enough._

Gustavo had finally learned my name this past year, after years of me kissing his ass. He was also currently drunk, so I wasn't even sure if he actually meant his words.

It was by chance I'd even landed the job interview with him all those years ago. At only twenty-three-and thanks to the guy I was dating at the time who knew the right people and got me the interview-I'd been given a secretarial position at the advertising agency and had gradually proved my worth, bumping my way up and going higher into advertising.

I was a member of the creative team now, but I wanted more. I wanted to have my ideas actually be _heard_ instead of just executing other people's ideas.

"Thanks, Mr. Rocque." I replied before checking my watch and cringing. _Dammit, I'm late. Again._ "I hate to be rude, but I gotta head home."

Gustavo checked his own watch and nodded. "I'm in the same boat as you. I plan to get an ass chewing from the wife when I get home."

 _Yeah. Same here._

It was Christmas Eve, and I should've been home almost four hours ago. A few of us had stayed after work, trying to finish the new project by the deadline. I'd also had to stay while Gustavo met with the CEO about a new direction for the company, mainly acting as his errand boy, which wasn't in my job description, but fuck it. If it got me brownie points, so be it.

Afterward, Gustavo had pulled out some bottles of champagne, wanting to celebrate our huge accomplishment, and I couldn't say no to my boss. Plus, it was rare to see Gustavo in such a good mood.

 _Just one drink_ , I'd said to myself.

But then that drink turned into another, and before I knew it, he'd invited some colleagues and ordered takeout and the small celebration had turned into a party.

The office Christmas party had been days before, but Gustavo was always up for an excuse to stay late and not have to go home to his wife.

James was going to kill me.

After I said goodnight to Gustavo and some of the other guys, I grabbed my coat and headed toward the door. Once I was out in the hallway, someone stopped me.

"You sure you can't stay longer?"

Jett.

I turned around and looked at him, shaking my head. "Positive."

Jett had started working for the company earlier in the year. I had to admit, he was attractive. Oh, and he'd been trying to get in my pants since his first day on the job. None of his advances had worked because I was in a committed relationship, but damn if he didn't still try.

Smirking, he walked closer until he was standing less than a foot in front of me. "I've been trying to get your attention all night."

 _Yep. And I've been avoiding you._

When he ran a hand down my chest, I grabbed his arm.

"Jett…"

Giving me a look of exaggerated innocence, he asked, "What?"

"You know what." I released his arm and stepped backward. "I have a fiance. Whatever you think is going to happen between us isn't happening. We've been over this too many fucking times."

His brown eyes gleamed. "Oh, I love it when you talk dirty."

"Stop."

"Are you sure you don't want your present? I got you a nice package for Christmas, if you want it." He purred, unrelenting.

 _Goddammit._

There had only been one time that I almost said _fuck it_ and took Jett up on his offer. Back in May, James and I had gotten into a huge fight and he'd packed up his bags to go stay at his mom's house for a few days. Seething and pissed beyond words, I'd come into work the next day and Jett had been all over me, as usual.

I never touched him, but fuck, I had really thought about taking him into the bathroom and fucking him senseless one good time. The thought of James stopped me, though. I could never betray him like that, no matter how pissed I was.

Jett got so close that his chest pressed to mine as he met my eyes.

I put my hands on his shoulders and stopped his advance. "Look Jett, you're going to find a man one day who will give you everything you're after. But it's not me and you need to stop it before I file a harassment suit against you. Got it?"

"Whatever. I know you want me." He said in a cocky tone, although I was sure I detected a hint of hurt underneath the bravado. Thankfully, he got the hint and stepped away. "If you ever change your mind, just let me know."

Without wasting more time with him, I turned and continued on my way. In the parking garage, I found my car and slid inside before starting the ignition and turning the heat on high.

As the car heated, I took out my phone and heavily exhaled at the few missed calls and texts from my soon-to-be husband.

The first text was polite, the second was worried, and the third was pissy. I had one voicemail, an I deleted it without even listening, not wanting to hear him bitching me out.

Instead of returning his call, I pocketed my phone.

 _I'll just deal with it when I see him._

Winters in Duluth were brutal. The forecast said we'd have close to two feet of snow by morning, so that meant it was probably already snowing.

 _Great._

Leaving the garage, my assumption was correct. The white mess was falling from the sky and already accumulating on the grass and on most of the road. I didn't care much for snow. Frosty could kiss my ass. All snow did was make it miserably cold and it screwed up travel. James loved it, though.

I drove with caution, not wanting to add _car wreck_ to a night I already suspected was going to suck.

James had wanted me home by six because he'd cooked dinner. Actually, he'd wanted me home sooner to go with him to the Christmas parade the town held each year, but I'd told him I'd had to work.

So then, he said to be home at least by six.

I knew it'd be the same damn predictable evening. We'd eat dinner and clean up, watch some Christmas movies, exchange gifts, and read 'Twas The Night Before Christmas together while drinking a glass of wine before bed.

The same, tired tradition we'd had for four years. Routine and fucking stupid.

A gift. _Fuck!_

I'd been so swamped with work that I'd forgotten. Of course, I'd bought him presents that were under the tree, but there was one gift in particular that we exchanged that was supposed to be something thoughtful and not just a random nice sweater or something crazy expensive.

Something from the heart.

Most stores closed early on Christmas Eve, and with the freaking snow, any places that _had_ been open were probably closed.

I drove by the pavilion and saw empty parking lots and blinking 'closed' signs on all the windows.

"Dammit!" I hit the steering wheel and kept driving, knowing I was in so much shit.

There weren't many cars on the road. Obviously, I was the only dumbass out that late, driving around town in desperation for a freaking last minute gift.

That's when I saw it.

Outside of the bigger shopping centers, there was a small log building that sat just a little ways off the main road. Christmas trees adorned with lights stood on each side of the entrance, and a word flashed in the frosted window. _Open._

I parked in a spot in front of the store and pulled my coat tighter against me as I got out of the warm interior of my car and faced the deathly arctic temperature.

A sign hung on a candy cane colored pole that read Christmas Wish Shoppe.

An actual store dedicated to just Christmas crap? I didn't remember ever seeing it before, but I hadn't been on this side of town in a while.

Right when I entered, warm air took away the chill in my bones and the scent of cinnamon and baked goods filled my nose.

A fireplace was in the far corner, giving off cozy heat, and the lighting was soft and golden. Brown shelves lined the walls holding antique items, and matching tables with similar objects were scattered throughout the room.

No one else was around.

"Hello?" I called out, walking further inside and shaking out the snowflakes on my coat.

My teeth chattered as my body got accustomed to the change of temperature. I couldn't wait to be done with this stupid errand so I could leave and go home.

 _Might as well take a look around while I'm here._

I moved along the shelves, checking out the old-fashioned clocks and wood carved Christmas decor. James loved the traditional things, so I basked in my good fortune at finding the shop. Maybe I'd just get him one of the glass bells or a house for the Christmas village he put up every year.

"Can I help you find something?" Someone said from behind me.

I turned to see an older man with a short white beard and glasses. He wore a white shirt and red suspenders. Basically, he looked like one of those Santa Claus wannabes.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." I cleared my throat and approached the counter. "I'm looking for something special for my fiance."

"What does this fiance like?" His voice was deep, yet pleasant, with hints of gruffness.

 _All things cheesy and romantic._

"He's an interior designer, so he loves anything stylish, but old-fashioned as well. I kind of screwed up and waited 'til the last minute to get his gift."

The man held an odd look in his blue eyes, almost as if he knew some secret.

"Sounds to me like you put other things before him." He said, walking out from behind the counter and nearing a shelf on the wall. "Love is the most important thing of all."

I followed him, unsure of how to respond.

"That's personal, Mr…"

"You can call me Nick."

 _At least he didn't say Santa._

"Okay, Nick. Well, that's personal and between me and my fiance."

He ran his fingers along the items on the wooden shelf before stopping at an ornate snow globe. "What about this?"

Although it was nice, there wasn't anything spectacular about it. Just a simple snow globe with a Victorian house covered in white and surrounded by Christmas trees on the inside.

"I don't think that's it." I said, wishing I could find something and get the hell out of here.

The detour to the shop was eating up too much time already.

Nick nodded and kept searching. "I do have one item that I keep locked away. It's not just an ordinary gift, however. It's one meant only for special cases. If you're interested, I could show you."

"Sure." I replied. "I'm kind of in a hurry."

He went behind the counter and unlocked a glass case on the wall. Once it was open, he pulled out a small clock. "Time is not to be wasted or taken for granted, and this will always remind you that every second is a blessing."

The cryptic way he talked bugged me. It was like talking to a life-sized fortune cookie. But I was drawn to the item. Emerald green with swirls of gold, the clock was beautiful. Roman numeral lettering was set against an off-white backdrop, and the hands were gold.

James would love it.

"I'll take it." I said, pulling out my wallet. "How much?"

Nick watched me a moment with a gleam in his eyes. "You're a wealthy man. The monetary price isn't anything you can't handle. Just say the word, and it's yours."

I scoffed at his _wealthy man_ comment. I wasn't anywhere near as wealthy as I wanted to be.

"So, it's free?" I asked, hesitating.

There had to be a catch. People didn't just give things away.

That damn look was back in his eyes, and he nodded. "Consider it my gift to you. There is more to life than materialistic riches. I hope this clock helps you see that."

Yeah. I didn't see how a clock would teach me anything about life, but whatever got me out of here the quickest, I'd do it.

"That's nice, Nick. Would you mind boxing it for me?"

As he wrapped the clock and placed it in a gift box, I looked at the time on my phone and cringed. Yep. I was a dead man.

"Merry Christmas." Nick said, giving me the gift.

"Thanks. Merry Christmas to you, too."

With the box under one arm, I walked back out into the cold night and got in my car.

XxX

Pulling into the driveway, I turned off the ignition and sat in the car for a few moments.

The Christmas tree was lit up and showed through the living room window, but the lights on the house had been turned off already. I knew he'd be waiting by the tree, probably sitting on the couch and cursing my name.

 _Here goes nothing._

After grabbing the box, I walked up to the house, dreading the moment I opened the door.

I was always disappointing James and couldn't seem to ever do anything right lately. Tonight was just the cherry on top of my _worst fiance in the world_ sundae.

Entering the house, I heard the soft music playing from the living room, so I walked that way.

James was sitting on the couch just as I'd suspected, holding a glass of wine and listening to an instrumental version of The First Noel. His brunet hair swept a little into his face, and his profile was sad as he stared at the glass in his hand.

With his brunet hair, toned body, and hazel eyes, he was gorgeous. Even though he had softness to his features, he also had a sharp jawline and high cheekbones.

As I stared at him, I remembered the moment when I'd first met him.

James had his own designing company and was hired by my boss to decorate the office. He'd been hanging curtains in the lobby when I'd walked by and saw him. I'd never seen any man more beautiful than him. The way his jeans hugged his perfect ass and the way his shirt clung to the subtle muscle in his back.

He'd stepped wrong on the small ladder and had been teetering on the edge, about to fall, when I'd run up and steadied him.

" _I got you."_ I'd said as I held his waist.

I hadn't known at the time that my words had held a double meaning. I'd grabbed onto him that day an hadn't let go since.

But now? We were so far from that day. Somehow, we'd grown apart in the four years we'd been together.

"Hi." I said from entryway, causing him to jump a little and snap his head toward me. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Only by, like, four hours." He said in a harsh tone. "No big deal."

"Can we not do this?" I asked, walking further into the room and tossing my coat on the back of the loveseat, along with the gift. "I've had a long day."

"Really?" He raised his brows. "And I haven't? I decorated a client's home all morning and into the afternoon, came home and made us dinner, and then decorated some more for our evening. And for what? To wind up eating by myself, all while staring at your empty seat and wishing you were here with me while I was worried sick." His hazel eyes burned into mine. "You could have at least let me know that you were okay. You knew we had plans."

The more he bitched, the more my temper rose.

"Well, excuse me if I'm trying to make us more money. I didn't know that was a damn crime, James. I wasn't about to tell my boss _'no'_ just so I could come home and do the same, tired routine we do every fucking year."

His face fell, as did his gaze. He stared at his glass of wine. "I didn't know you hated it so much."

"I don't hate it." I admitted, sitting on the couch beside him. "But there are more important things."

"More important?" The anger flashed back in his eyes. "Wow. It's great to know I'm second best to your job."

"Don't do this." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm too tired."

"Then go to bed." He snapped as he sat his glass on the side table and stood up.

"Whatever. But first... here." I said, grabbing the box from the loveseat and handing it to him. "It's one part of your tradition I can do. Merry Christmas."

James stared at it for a second, as if deciding if he wanted to accept it. His face was a whirlwind of emotions, and I wasn't sure what he'd do. Finally, he gently took it from my hands.

He untied the ribbon around the box before popping open the lid. After ruffling around in the red and green paper inside, he gasped as his gaze landed on the clock. He pulled it out and studied it in both hands.

"Ken. This is… wow."

His reaction took away some of my frustration. I loved seeing that look on his face. One of wonder and awe. It didn't take away from the fact that we were still fighting and not on the greatest of terms in our relationship, but it helped a bit.

"I know how much you like antiques." I said, shrugging. "Am I off the hook now?"

"Seriously?" He asked with wide eyes. "You think giving me a gift will make up for your poor behavior? Money doesn't fix everything, Kendall."

"You're not being fair." I peered at him as he stared at me with an incredulous expression. "Every year, you have all of these damn traditions and everything has to be perfect. Valentine's Day, we go to the same restaurant. Thanksgiving, we go to your mom's house. Christmas Eve, I have to stop what the hell I'm doing just so I can come home and watch stupid Christmas movies with you like we're five years old. The same shit all the time. I feel like my whole life is planned already, and frankly, it's driving me fucking crazy, James."

I'd never told him any of that before, always keeping it in my head. But now that I had, I felt like an asshole, especially when I saw the way his features had changed.

He looked as if I'd slapped him.

"If I'm so _predictable_ and _boring_ , then why the hell did you ask me to marry you?" The sadness in his voice was palpable.

Reason told me to stop fighting with him and make things right. However, my emotions were out of whack, and anger held dominion over all of them.

"Honestly? I don't know." I answered. "Maybe I didn't realize how unhappy I was at the time."

"You're unhappy with me?" He asked as his eyes watered.

He stood in front of the Christmas tree, staring at me with a combination of anger and sorrow as he held the clock in his hands.

The lights danced behind him, but somehow, they only made the situation worse. As if our fight had no room for the merriness that came with the stupid decorations he loved so much.

I didn't respond.

I couldn't.

Seeing the answer in my expression, he nodded and took another step back, shutting off the stereo that had been playing soft carols.

The silence in the room deafening.

"How long have you felt this way?" He asked with a pained expression. "Because honestly, it's taken me by surprise." James studied me with such devastation that a tightness formed in my chest. "Do you even love me anymore?"

"That's a lot of questions." I pointed out. James waited, so I gave a defeated sigh. "I'm not happy! Okay? The thought of coming home to you every day has started making me miserable. Especially recently. You get crazy around the holidays."

The tears he'd held at bay now fell freely down his face.

The side of me that still loved him ached to reach out and kiss his pain away, but the other side that was tired of his shit kept me in place.

"Take back your last-minute gift, Kendall." James came forward and shoved the clock in my hands. "I'm going to bed. You can get acquainted with the couch tonight."

"Gladly!" I shouted after him, and then muttered under my breath, "Anything to get some damn distance from you is perfect."

James returned to toss my pillow and a blanket on the couch before storming back down the hall to our room and slamming the door.

"Psycho." I mumbled as I punched the pillow and lay down.

I was still in my work clothes, but I didn't have the motivation or energy to get up and change. Plus, James would probably yell at me if I went into the bedroom. So instead, I stripped down to my boxers, taking off my shoes, pants, and shirt and tossing them on the floor.

As I lay there, still fuming from our fight and rejecting all thoughts about it being my fault, I glanced back at the antique clock.

Its ticking was the only sound in the room, other than the quiet licking of the flames in the fireplace.

That Nick guy had been a little weird. And who in their right mind just gave away something to a complete stranger? I should've insisted on paying for it, or hell, just walked out right then because it was probably stolen. But I hadn't thought about any of that at the time.

 _I'll take the damn thing back tomorrow._

It wasn't like James wanted it anyway.

At the thought of him, I snarled.

How had we become this? We used to be so happy. I wondered what my life would've been like had I not met him.

Probably better, to be honest. He held me back from so much.

If it weren't for him, I would've had my promotion already and been raking in the cash, living a nice, luxurious life, instead of living in a small two bedroom house with him and driving a car that would probably break down any day now.

Most of the other guys in the office drove sports cars, or something that wouldn't break down in the middle of the road at least. It was embarrassing pulling into work every day with my piece of shit clunker.

James was happy being stuck in that simpler life, but I wanted more. So much more than what he could offer.

"I wish I'd never met him." I whispered as my gaze moved from the clock to the fire.

And sometime later, I fell asleep, already dreading the next morning.

* * *

 **Done! So, yeah...I'm pretty sure you all can guess where things go from here. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter will be up this weekend sometime, so I hope to see you guys again then!**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with a new chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter! I would also like to thank RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, and Riku child of Dawn for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! I love you guys so much and am so thankful for each and every one of you! :)**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up, but didn't open my eyes yet. Warmth surrounded me, and it was a little uncomfortable, but the bed beneath me was soft. Too soft.

Opening my eyes, I stared up at a white ceiling. Light came through the window to the left and was so bright, I winced.

 _Wasn't I on the couch last night?_

I was in a bedroom-one that wasn't mine. Alarmed, I opened my eyes wider. It was nice, too. High ceilings and expensive looking bedside tables and dressers. That's when I felt something move beside me.

I jerked and looked to the right, feeling the blood wash from my face when I saw Jett lying in bed, his naked body barely covered by a sheet.

 _Shit!_ I was naked, too.

Jumping out of bed, I searched for my pants. My heart frantically pounded in my chest as I tried to recall the night before. The last thing I remembered was lying on the couch after James had gone to bed.

So, how the hell had I ended up with Jett? Had I woken up and come over here in a fit of anger?

But I would _never_ cheat on James. Even if the thought had crossed my mind that one time, I knew I'd never act on it. I knew that once that trust was broken, it was close to impossible to ever get it back.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I ran to the open door in the bedroom that I assumed was a bathroom. Right when I got to the toilet, I puked. A quiet sob wracked my body as self-hatred took over.

 _What have I done? Fuck._

"Hey, are you okay?"

I looked up to see Jett in the doorway.

"Put some clothes on." I said, averting my gaze from his nakedness.

I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. As he left, I stood up, flushed the toilet, and wiped my mouth off before rinsing it out.

I needed answers because I couldn't remember anything.

Going back into the room, I looked at Jett. "When did I come over last night? Was I drunk?"

"Um…" His brown eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you sure you're not drunk right now?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, unable to conceal my irritation. "The last thing I remember was being at home, sleeping on the couch. Then I wake up with you. I've told you a million times that I have a fiance."

Confusion swept across his face. "What? Kendall… did you hit your head or something?" I was about to argue, but he continued before I could say anything. "This _is_ your house. You called me yesterday and told me to come over. And you've never said anything about a fiance for as long as I've known you."

I was stunned stupid.

"I… I don't live here." I said, motioning around at the too-expensive furnishings. "James and I live in a house. This is a fancy ass apartment from the looks of it."

"Who's James?"

That did it.

"It's time to stop whatever game you're playing Jett!" I snapped, losing all patience. "James is my fiance. Whatever happened between us was a mistake, and it won't be happening again."

"You've lost your mind." He said before searching for the rest of his clothes. Finding his pants, he slid them on before doing the same with his shirt. He grabbed his shoes and started walking toward the door, brushing past me. "Call me when you stop acting like a damn lunatic, Kendall."

Once I heard the door slam, I fell to my knees. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, and that knotting in my gut wouldn't go away.

I didn't remember calling Jett-if that's even what happened-and I sure as hell didn't remember fucking him. Yeah, I'd been pissed at James during our fight, but I wouldn't betray him.

 _I need to talk to him._

As quickly as I could, I got up and looked for my phone. Spotting it on the nightstand, I grabbed it.

My background was different. Instead of the picture of me and James as my lock screen, it was one of those landscape backgrounds that came with the phone.

I scrolled through my contacts…. And didn't see James' name anywhere.

 _What the hell is going on?_

Damn modern technology had made me too reliant, and I tried recalling his number from memory. It had become too easy to just click on people's names that I'd stopped memorizing numbers.

After trying two numbers-one of which turned out to be to a Chinese restaurants and the other to some woman named Janet-I tossed my phone down and clutched my head. Before I could lose my mind even more, I peeled myself up and decided to look through the apartment.

I went to one of the windows and was shocked to see I was probably ten floors off the ground.

Definitely an apartment.

The living room screamed luxury. High-end furniture and a modern, sleek design. It reminded me of those places the rich guys had in movies. The ones where they held all the huge ass parties. The kitchen was an open plan, with an island in the middle, and a _lot_ of counter space.

James had always wanted a kitchen like that.

A set of doors beyond the living room led to a balcony, and I stepped outside, amazed at the picturesque view. Going to the railing, I looked down. Fuck. It was high. And cold. I went back inside, running my hands along my arms to create friction.

Everything about the apartment was nice and had more than likely cost a fortune, but it wasn't me. There were no pictures on the wall of me and James or of our friends. There wasn't one personal item that I could see, as if the person living there cared more about appearances than comfortability.

After searching the place some more, I found traces that I actually did live here.

My clothes hung in the closet, but expensive suits now hung with them, as did nicer shoes. Watches that cost more than my car were lined on a shelf in the walk-in closet, as were pricey ties.

I had to be dreaming. It was impossible to go to bed one person and wake up as another. I made a decent living, but nowhere near as much as that apartment must've cost, plus all the things in it.

So that left two options. It was either a dream, or someone was playing a damn joke on me.

Something occurred to me, and I ran back to where I'd thrown my phone on the bed to get it. I looked at the date and froze.

December first.

When I'd gone to sleep the night before, it had been Christmas Eve, so how in the _fuck_ was it only the first of December? A person couldn't just travel back in time.

Where was James? It was as if he didn't even exist. If only I could remember his damn number…

 _His website!_

James had a designing website that listed his number.

Opening up the browser on my phone, I typed in _Jay Designs_ and hit search. When the site popped up, I blew out a relieved breath. With as crazy and unexpected as my morning had been, I feared the website would be gone along with everything else.

I called three times, and no one answered.

My screen flashed as a text came through.

 **Jett:** _Not sure what's up with you today, but please get your shit together. Remember, you have a presentation today at eleven. I put all the notes in a file on your desk._

I read his message a few times, wondering why he was reminding me about work.

Shit. I wondered if _losing my mind_ was a valid excuse for a sick day.

 _Wait._ A presentation? I didn't give those.

Putting all thoughts of reaching out to James aside, I took a shower and got ready to go to work. When I walked into the parking garage, I had to hunt for my car. I went to the lot reserved for my floor and froze when I got to my spot.

"No fucking way." I muttered.

I nearly shit myself. A Jaguar instead of the piece of junk I'd used to have. I felt like a kid as I unlocked it and slid into the seat, admiring every inch of the interior.

After pulling myself together, I drove to work, maybe a bit too carefully.

And I only hoped that what waited for me there was something I could handle.

XxX

The first difference I noticed once walking into Rocque Inc. that day was that my small cubicle had someone else's name on it. Sure, it wasn't the best workspace in the office, but it was _mine_. Or it had been at least.

Jett caught my eye from across the room and walked over.

"About time you showed up." He whispered, looking at where I stood before focusing back on me. "What are you doing at Jo's cubicle?"

Jo had been pining for that director of marketing position just like I had. And now she had my work area.

Before I could answer Jett, he said, "You know what? It doesn't matter."

He then grabbed my arm and started leading me across the room, past the other cubicles and into the area with the bigger offices. Most people didn't pay us any attention as he dragged me along, but the ones who did gaped as if I was a three-headed alien.

We stopped in front of the door I'd only ever dreamed of having my name on. The Marketing Director's office.

"Jett, what are we-" I stopped mid-sentence as I saw my name on the door: Kendall Knight. My knees nearly buckled beneath me, but I regained balance before I fell and made an ass out of myself. Meeting his brown eyes, I shook my head in shock. "What's going on?"

His irritation turned to concern, and he pulled me into the office before closing the door behind him.

"No, Kendall. You tell _me_ what's going on." He demanded, putting a hand on his hip. "We drank a little last night, but it wasn't enough to screw you up this bad. You act like you don't even know me that well."

 _I don't,_ I wanted to say.

Jett was just a guy I worked with who liked to flirt, but someone I would never pursue.

"Jesus." He said before sighing. "Look, I'm not sure what happened to your memory, but hi, I'm Jett. Your personal assistant and also someone you sleep with on occasion. I-"

"Assistant?" I asked, interrupting him. That was certainly another change. "And I'm really the marketing director of advertising?"

I scanned the office and was stunned. Not just by the amazing skyline view outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, but also with the magnitude of my confusion.

It had to be some kind of dream. That was the only explanation.

Jett stepped forward and clutched my hand in his. "Do you need to go lay down or something? You're kind of scaring me."

I jerked my hand from his, hating the intimacy of it. Turning around, I walked to the desk and ran a finger along the smooth wood, thinking.

If it _was_ a dream… why not play along? Hell, when was I ever going to have this happen again? I had my dream position at work, had a luxurious apartment, and was _free_. Free from the burden of kissing my boss's ass on every occasion and free from James.

 _What?_

My line of thinking halted me in place, and I plopped down in the desk chair. The relief of not having him around shouldn't have felt as good as it did.

I loved him… but maybe I just needed a little break from him.

 _This could be kind of perfect_ , I thought as I surveyed the nice office. One with my damn name on the door.

"Didn't you say something about a presentation?" I asked, glancing back at Jett.

He stood in the middle of the room, staring at me with that same concerned look before answering, "Yes! Um…" He bustled toward the desk, grabbed a file, and handed it to me. "It's a pitch to a possible new client about their coffee house."

I flipped through it, nodding when I saw the proposal.

I'd come up with it? Wow. Nerves swirled in my stomach at the thought of the presentation, though. I might have woken up in that highly sought after position, but I'd never actually done a pitch before despite that fact.

"Do you wanna practice?" Jett asked, sitting in the chair on the other side of my desk. "I can be Mr. Henderson, and you pitch the idea to me."

I smiled a little at his offer, surprised that he was actually a nice guy and not just the horndog I'd pegged him as in the past.

"So, are we dating?" I probed, asking another question instead of answering his.

"You really are out of it today, aren't you?" Brown eyes lingered on me a moment before he looked down at his hands. "No, we aren't dating. It's nothing serious. It's just a mutual sex thing when we're feeling up to it." His sad expression and voice told me he wanted more than that. He met my eyes again. "What's going on, Kendall?"

"If I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me."

"Try me." He said with a smile, sitting back in the chair.

So, I did. I told him about yesterday being Christmas Eve, about how I'd been nothing more than a lowly member of the creative team, about fighting with James, going to sleep that night on the couch, and waking up with him this morning in a completely new life.

"You're right. I don't believe you." Jett said once I'd finished, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the desk. "But let's say for a moment that I _did_.. What are you going to do about all of this?"

"I don't know… enjoy it?" I suggested, relieved that he sort of believed me, or was at least open-minded enough to try to. "It's everything I've always wanted."

"Okay, then let's make sure you keep it." Jett said, smiling. "Now, start the pitch to me. You don't wanna mess this one up."

I practiced with Jett for about an hour, and he made me laugh several times by pretending he had a mustache and stroking it as I made the proposal.

The sexual relationship between us had to stop-since we obviously had one, even though I couldn't remember it-but I could see him being my confidant in this new, crazy but amazing, reality. A friend.

When the time came for the actual presentation, I stood in my office, facing the door and forcing myself to take deep breaths.

What if I screwed it up and made a fool out of myself? I'd wanted this position for a while, and now that I had it, could I prove to myself that I deserved it?

Jett had gone back to his desk-one right outside my door-and he peeked at me through the glass, pointing at his watch before giving me a thumbs up.

 _I can do this._

XxX

I was on cloud nine. The pitch to the client had gone over smoothly, and they loved what I offered, combining Christmas with their coffee for a new commercial and advertisement.

"What if Santa drank coffee instead of hot cocoa?" I had asked before clicking the PowerPoint presentation to the next slide. "Only coffee from Brew Emporium can fuel Santa on his long night of delivering gifts."

Peter Henderson, the owner of the coffeehouse, had been elated with the proposal and had signed the contract before the meeting even ended. I would send the idea along to the members of the creative team, and they'd begin creating the components of the ads.

Done and done.

Jett wanted to celebrate the success, and he made it all too clear what he was offering in terms of celebration.

"I can't." I told him, trying to let him down easy. We were back in my office later that afternoon, and I was about to leave. "I know you said we had something going on, but I think I need to take time for myself with everything that's happening."

Disappointment reflected on his face, but he tried covering it up with a smile as he nodded. "That's okay."

"Hey." I said, tilting his chin up so he'd look at me. "You're a great guy, Jett, but things are too complicated right now. We're friends, too, right? Because I could really use a friend over a fuck at the moment."

He smiled. "Yeah, we are."

"Good." I said, returning his smile. "See you on Monday."

Leaving work, I was about to burst with excitement. It was a dream I didn't want to wake from. Perfect job, car, and home. People looked up to me, and I'd never felt more powerful or successful.

Something felt off, though, and I couldn't place it. However, I paid it no mind, choosing to enjoy myself instead of dwelling on the feeling.

On my way out the door, I stopped in my tracks.

The lobby was different. The curtains I recalled James putting up on the first day I'd met him were no longer there.

He'd created such a warm and inviting feel to the office, and now it just appeared boring, like every other high-end office in the area. His magical touch-as I called it-was nowhere to be seen.

That feeling returned-a hollowing in my chest-but once again, I shoved it away.

As I hopped in my car and drove through Duluth, I saw people decorating their houses with Christmas lights, and the stores on Main Street were doing the same, putting Christmas displays in their storefront windows.

It was like deja vu, as I had just experienced all of that a few weeks prior, the buzz in the air as everyone changed out fall decorations for Christmas ones.

Why had I gone back to December first? Whatever. I'd take it. I planned to take full advantage of my new life.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like Kendall got his wish and seems to br enjoying his new life!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved hearing your thoughts on the first chapter! Some of you seemed to have some strong opinions. :P Hopefully, you all enjoyed this chapter as well!**

 **The next chapter will be up within the next few days, so you won't have to wait as long as you did for this chapter. :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, and Riku child of Dawn for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

A few days passed, and I felt like I was on top of the world.

I had checked my bank account and nearly passed out seeing my balance. Needless to say, I went on a binge. I ate at the finest restaurant in town-one where you had to make a reservation a month in advance, but I got in because apparently I was a regular there.

After dinner, I'd walked along Main Street, going inside any store that piqued my interest and buying whatever the hell I wanted.

I'd even bought Jett a few things as a way to say _thank you_ for him having my back and not throwing me into the nuthouse for telling him the truth about myself.

He'd been overjoyed by my actions, and we'd started having lunch together in my office. Nothing sexual, of course, but just as friends. And he didn't seem to mind it anymore either, which was great.

I didn't want to lead him on like I feared I'd done before in this reality.

Days of freedom and living the life I'd always dreamed followed, and I was elated. Almost a week had passed, and I'd settled in nicely, blending into the alternate reality with ease.

My confusion of whether it was a dream or not faded, too. I would've woken up by now if it were.

I wasn't sure _how_ it had happened, but I was grateful it had.

However, a week into my new freedom, old feelings stirred. As I left the office that Thursday, I couldn't help but look at the damn lobby again. A lobby that lacked James' touch.

I stared at the window where I'd first met him.

" _I got you." I said as I gripped his waist, preventing him from falling off the small ladder._

 _He chuckled and turned around, smiling down at me with a look that made me weak in the knees. "Yes, you do."_

" _Are you always so clumsy?" I asked, quirking a brow._

 _His brunet hair fell into his face and he flicked his head to clear his view, meeting my gaze with a smirk. "Only on days that end in y."_

 _Grinning, I helped him down, still holding his waist._

 _Until that moment, I had believed love would never find me, but staring into the hazel eyes of that adorably sexy designer with a tight ass and face to die for, I felt myself fall._

I shook my head at the memory and left the office, feeling that hollowness in my chest again. After getting into my car, I left the parking garage and drove downtown.

Perhaps it was because he'd been on my mind, but I found myself outside of James' store. _Jay Designs_ was scrawled in fancy lettering above the entrance.

It was just as I'd remembered. The one constant in a life that was so different. And for some reason, seeing his shop touched a part of me, and I was thankful for the familiar sight.

Before I knew it, I was out of my car and walking inside. Not sure what possessed me to do such a thing, but it was if I _had_ to see him. To see how he was doing in the alternate reality I found myself in.

I might've been happy now, but I still cared about him and hoped he was doing well for himself.

The scent of lavender hit me as I entered the store. It had always been one of his favorite smells. As I studied the inside, something occurred to me.

Even in the _other_ life, I hadn't actually visited his store in quite a while, so I wasn't sure if it looked the same or not. I'd been so preoccupied with my own job and dreams that I hadn't made time for his.

"Good afternoon! Can I help you?"

Hearing his voice sent my heart into chaotic palpitations. And when I turned around, my breath hitched in my throat.

James stood roughly five feet from me, and he looked incredible. His brunet hair held a slight wave as if fell into his face a little, and his hazel eyes sparked with the happiness showing through them. Such a stark contrast to the last time I'd seen him. A fitted, burgundy sweater covered his lean torso, and his skinny jeans hugged his hips and legs just right.

He looked at me like I was a stranger.

"Yeah." I answered, not knowing what to say, but going with it anyway. "I'm looking to decorate my apartment and thought I'd come in to see if you had any ideas."

 _What am I doing?_

James beamed and clapped his hands together. "Okay, awesome. I'm sure we can figure out something that'll be perfect for you."

As he led me over to some color swatches and explained the feeling each one gave off and what rooms they worked best in, I scrutinized him. When his eyes met mine, there were no signs of familiarity in them, just the friendly gaze he gave every person he met.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked, interrupting him.

His brow dipped and he cocked his head a bit. "I'm sorry, but...no, I don't. Have we met before?" A bashful smile touched his lips. "I'm great with remembering color themes and other aspects of design, but I'm not the best with faces."

I smiled, even though a weight settled in my gut.

He didn't know me. My fiance and the man I loved had no clue who I was. Not even a week earlier, I'd been excited at the thought of being _free_ of James, but facing the reality of it wasn't the same.

"Maybe I'm the one mistaken." I said, backtracking so I wouldn't weird him out even further. "You just look like someone I used to know. I'm Kendall, by the way."

"James." He replied, sticking out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

When I accepted his hand for a shake, my insides coiled. His hand was soft, just like I'd remembered. A familiar touch.

As I stood there with him, my throat tightened and my pulse quickened. The corners of my eyes stung, and I coughed, pretending I was having some allergic episode instead of a near breakdown.

 _This is what I wanted, right?_

"So, about your apartment." He said, focusing on the color swatches before moving his gorgeous eyes back to me. "It's difficult for me to know without seeing it. If you're still interested, maybe I can come by and see it sometime to get a better feel?"

"Sounds good." I said. "I'll call you and set something up."

"Great!" James answered before going to the counter and getting a business card. He grabbed a pen and turned the card over to write on the back. "I recently got a new cell number, and I haven't updated it yet. Sorry. I've been busy with the holidays and everything."

Well, that explained why I couldn't reach him earlier.

"Thanks." I took the card and peered at him, not sure I was ready to leave just yet.

I was happy in this new life. _Wasn't I?_

Staring into his kind eyes in that moment, I wasn't so sure anymore.

XxX

Back in my apartment, I had a drink in one hand and my phone in the other as I sat in the kitchen. My words from before kept floating back into my head. _I'm going to enjoy it._ And I had enjoyed it so far, taking full advantage of this life.

I had taken joyrides in my car, dined in way too pricey restaurants, bought whatever I wanted, and completely lived it up.

Everything I'd always wanted was within my grasp. But as I looked around at all the nice things in my home, I felt empty, like no matter how many materialistic things I shoved inside, it still wouldn't fill the hole in my chest, the one that longed for a man with hazel eyes and the gentlest of touches.

"Such a funny thing: time." A voice said from behind me.

Letting out an unmanly shriek, I flipped around on the barstool to see a man facing the fireplace.

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my apartment?" I asked, jumping off the stool and walking toward him.

I stopped my advance when he turned and faced me.

His short white beard and jolly expression was hard to forget. It was the man who'd run that antique Christmas shop.

"Nick?" I asked, feeling like my head was about to explode.

So many questions flew at me, but my mind was too jumbled to ask any of them.

He smiled and stepped aside, revealing the clock I'd gotten for James sitting on the mantel.

I stared at the clock, wondering what the hell was going on. Maybe I was hallucinating. I couldn't be drunk because I'd only had a couple of sips.

"Time." He pointed at the face of the clock. "It reveals all. Our dreams, our fears, and the true wishes of our hearts. Wishes are powerful. And magical. Especially at Christmas."

"I'm not following." I said, walking closer and stopping a few feet away. "What's happening to me? Why are you here?"

"You made a wish." He answered.

"No, I didn't."

 _This guy is insane._

Nick lifted his brows in fake surprise and tsked at me. "Oh, but you did, Kendall. You made a wish that you never met James. One should always be careful when making wishes. You never know when it will be granted."

With my heart in my throat, I scrubbed at my face with my hands, trying to fight off the anxiety spreading throughout my body.

A wish.

I thought back to that Christmas Eve night when I'd been on the couch. I had said a lot mean things to James, hateful things that he hadn't deserved. I'd let my frustrations seep into our relationship.

Then, I remembered. I had almost been asleep when I'd wished I'd never met James.

"I did say that." I said as the truth slammed into me.

Nick nodded and gave me a knowing stare. "And it was granted. Christmas wishes are always the strongest."

Fear trickled through me, as did that hollowing feeling from earlier. I dealt with the fear by lashing out.

"What does this damn thing have to do with anything?!" I yelled as I stormed over to the mantel and picked up the clock.

Maybe I should smash it.

"I wouldn't do that." Nick said in a calm tone. "That clock is your only way back to your old life. That is...if you want to go back."

I couldn't stop shaking, so I went over to the couch-still holding the clock-and sat down. "What do you mean?"

"See how the hands are frozen?" He asked, pointing. "Five 'til midnight on Christmas Eve is when you made the wish. That's how long you have to make things right. Otherwise, you'll be in this life forever." His face scrunched as he lifted a hand to scratch at his beard. "Which wouldn't be so bad, I suppose. You _did_ want this life, correct?"

"Yeah, but…" I shook my head and looked at the clock.

The golden designs in the green paint, along with the structure and fancy lettering, were beautiful. James' smile as he saw it flashed through my mind. He loved unique items.

The crack in my chest grew wider.

"But what?" Nick asked.

When I met his gaze, a tear escaped my right eye and rolled down my cheek. "I miss him. I miss James." My stomach knotted and the tears welled even more in my eyes. "None of this matters without him. I've lived this amazing, luxurious life for about a week, and I've realized it means nothing without him. The crazy expensive car, fancy apartment, designer clothes… they don't compare to what I had with him."

After setting the clock on the table in front of me, I buried my face in my hands.

The truth of my statement settled in my gut, and I hated myself.

Sure, I'd loved the new life for a while, but after seeing James, I'd remembered how perfectly he fit into my arms when I held him at night after making love. I recalled his laugh. A light, carefree sound that made me feel like the luckiest person in the world for having caused it. And the way his hazel eyes sparkled after we kissed, full of so much love.

"I just didn't see it until it was too late." I whispered.

"It's not too late, Kendall." Nick said, causing me to peer up at him from my spot on the couch.

"Then take it back, Nick. Please." I practically begged, standing up and going to him. "I don't want this stupid wish anymore."

"A Christmas wish is not something to be taken lightly." He answered with a shake of his head. "Once it is spoken and later granted, you can't just return it."

" _There is more to life than materialistic riches. I hope this clock helps you see that."_ Nick had told me that night, but I'd been too in my head, not fully listening to his words.

"You tried to warn me about this." I said before slapping my head. "Fuck! Why didn't I listen?"

"Sometimes a man needs to be given exactly what he asked for in order for him to realize that what he really needed was what he had all along." Nick said, still calm and not reacting to my temper.

"I wish I wouldn't have made that stupid wish." I mumbled, feeling my self-hatred grow. How could I have been so blind? "I want to take it back."

"There's a way to make things right. To reverse what's been done."

"How?" I asked, looking at him with desperation. "I'll do anything."

"Make James fall in love with you before five 'til midnight on Christmas Eve." Nick answered. "Only then will you freed from the wish. For true love cannot be broken."

I gave him a blank stare. "So, you're saying this is some kind of Disney shit? That only true love will break the spell?"

"This is not a spell, Kendall." He said. "Love is the most powerful thing on this earth. When it is real, nothing can get in the way. Not even a magical clock that grants wishes."

Magical clock. Damn. This was so messed up.

I buried my face in my hands. "How am I going to get him to fall in love with me by then? Christmas is only a little over two weeks away."

But when I looked back up, he was gone.

All that was left was the clock, still frozen in time.

XxX

"What exactly do you do again?" James asked as he surveyed my apartment. "This place is amazing."

"I'm the Marketing Director at Rocque Inc." I answered, still shocked it was true.

But I'd give it all up for the man beside me. My dream job meant nothing without the man who held my heart in his hands.

"Wow. Impressive." James moved farther inside, looking at the ceiling and down the walls before focusing on the hardwood floor. The crinkle in his forehead and the way his lip curled told me he was thinking. It was a look I'd memorized. "I think some warm colors would really bring some life to this place, Kendall. Maybe some oranges and neutral tones for the living room and then some cool ones for the bathroom and bedroom."

"What's the difference between warm, neutral, and cool?" I asked, playing dumb.

I knew damn well the differences. He'd told me many times before. Well… the old him.

James faced me with a smile. "Warm colors are the reds, oranges, and yellows. They're stimulating and are great for the rooms in the house that get the most action, so to speak. So, like the living room for instance."

My dick twitched at his explanation. The word stimulating, and the sexy smile he gave while saying it, definitely stimulated something.

"Cool colors are the blues, grays, and off-whites." He continued, starting to move through the apartment again.

I followed, listening as he explained the different rooms that worked best with the colors.

I'd only waited a day before I had called him and asked if he'd come over to look at my place. Decorating my apartment was the last thing on my mind, though. I just wanted to see him. To be in the same room as him.

Time was ticking.

If Nick had been correct, I only had two weeks and a few days to make James fall in love with me. The odds were stacked against me, and the improbability of my success was glaring.

Love took time. Patience. And to be honest, I wasn't sure what it was about me that had made James fall in the first place.

Thinking back on the past few months, I'd been so awful to him. And for what? To get a dman promotion? His traditions for holidays hadn't really bothered me, either. I'd just used that as fuel in our fight to hurt him.

 _Well, you were successful, jackass._ I reminded myself. I had made him cry that night. Maybe he was better off without me...

I focused on him, on the small smile on his perfect lips and the light in his eyes. He looked so happy.

 _Shit._ I didn't even know if he was single in this life.

As the thought flitted in my head, I looked at James' hands for a ring. Thank God I didn't see one. So if he _was_ with someone, it wasn't too serious at least. I hoped…

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah!" I answered, putting on my most convincing smile and leaning against the wall. "I'm great. I was just thinking over what you said. Red in the living room would be awesome."

 _Smooth, Kendall. Real smooth._

"See? I thought the same." He responded, flashing another smile that jostled the butterflies in my stomach. "But it's what _you_ want. You're the client. Do you mind if I take some pictures around the apartment? When I get back to my shop, it's always helpful to have a visual of the place I'm decorating."

"Go for it." I said, motioning to the room. "If you need a model to pose in photos, just ask. I could lay on the floor in a mermaid pose or something. Whatever you need."

He laughed and shook his head. "As appealing as that is, no thanks."

I watched him as he moved around the room, taking photos. It was like I was seeing him with new eyes. Every movement of his body caught my attention, and I studied him like I never had before.

 _How had I ever been so stupid?_

Once he was finished, he put his camera back in his bag and approached me. "Well, that's it for now. I'll get back to the shop and see what I can come up with."

An idea struck me, and I walked a little closer to him. "I'm getting hungry. Do you want some lunch? My treat. Consider it a thank you for taking me on with such short notice."

James hesitated, and my smile faded. "That sounds nice, but I'm not sure it's a good idea." He responded with something in his voice that I couldn't quite place.

"Why? It's just food."

An eyebrow lifted as his hazel eyes flickered to my face. "Okay… I guess some food would be good. I haven't eaten anything since six this morning."

"Yeah, and you get cranky when you're hungry." I said, remembering the times I'd called him the 'Jay Beast' because he'd get irritated at the smallest things when he needed food.

One time, he'd snapped at me in the car as we were trying to decide on a place to eat for dinner, so I'd stopped in at McDonalds and practically shoved a McChicken down his throat. _"A McChicken will stop you from McBitchin'."_ I had told him.

We had laughed for hours after that.

"Huh?" He asked, cocking his head. "How'd you know that?"

 _Dammit._

"Um, I mean, doesn't everyone get mean when they're hungry?" I asked with a shrug, playing it cool.

James smiled before lowering his gaze and rubbing the back of his neck, something he did when he was feeling shy. "I guess so."

Relieved that I'd dodged that bullet, I went to the kitchen to grab my car keys from the bowl I kept them in.

I _had_ to pay more attention. Sure, I knew basically everything there was to know about James, but in this new reality, he didn't know who the hell I was.

Once outside, James turned to me. "Can we walk instead of drive? It feels amazing out today, and I'd love to stretch my legs."

James loved walking everywhere. Usually, unless it was raining or freezing cold, he'd walk to his shop from our house. A house I wasn't even sure existed now.

"Of course." I said, feeling a tingling in my chest and pocketing my keys. "And I know the perfect place."

* * *

 **Done! So, James is back in the picture! And, as many of you predicted would happen, Kendall isn't as happy in this new life anymore.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter of this should be up by around Tuesday or Wednesday, so you don't have to wait too long. :)**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Me again. :P**

 **Before we get into this, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and Riku child of Dawn for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"How did you know I loved Hannah's?" James asked once we were inside the restaurant and at a table.

"Who doesn't love Hannah's?" I winked. "It's only the best burgers in town."

Yeah, it was true about the burgers, but I would've never known about the place if it weren't for him. Hannah's was the restaurant we went to on our very first date. It seemed symbolic to me, as if I'd earn his love by re-enacting all the dates from our life together-a life he didn't remember, but one I couldn't forget.

"I say the same thing!" He beamed at me. "No one ever knows about this place. Maybe it's because it's on the very edge of town and kind of hidden. I don't know. But I just feel…" James' gaze darted throughout the room. "I just feel cozy here. Like there's a touch of magic."

I quirked a brow. "You sure that's not just all the Christmas decorations? I heard Christmas is the most magical time of year, you know?"

"Oh yeah? And who told you that?" He asked, leaning on the table and giving me the cutest damn mischievous grin I'd ever seen.

Was he flirting? God, I hoped so.

"A man named Nick." I answered like it was no big deal. "He was an older dude with a white beard and everything."

James giggled, and then covered his mouth like he'd just done the unthinkable. "Oh my God. How embarrassing."

Most men laughed when something was _really_ funny. James giggled. Not all the time, but if he wasn't careful, it just kind of slipped out. He hated it, but I'd always found it endearing.

"Don't be embarrassed." I said, reaching across the table and touching his hand. "It's adorable."

He pulled his hand back, but kept a smile on his face. "It's awful."

It tried not to let it bug me too much that he pulled away from me.

He was _not_ James, my fiance. He was James, a guy who'd just met me. It was difficult treating him like a stranger, though, when I knew him so well. Probably better than I knew myself.

The waitress approached and asked us what we wanted to drink, and I wasn't surprised at all when James said hot cocoa.

The first time he'd ordered it, I'd cringed and made a gagging noise. I mean, hot cocoa and burgers? Really? But he'd grinned and told me to shut my face and not to knock it until I tried it.

I'd never tried it.

"I'll have a Coke." I said, unable to hide my smile at the memories floating in my head.

"Now, before you say anything," James started after the waitress walked away. "It's delicious and you're missing out."

I shook my head in innocence. "Hey, I'm not judging you. To each his own. Chocolate flavored burgers and all."

James snorted and covered his face.

My heart fluttered at the sight. I wondered how I'd ever been so fucking blind before. The most important thing in my life had been with me the whole time, and I'd allowed the desire for materialistic shit get in the way.

 _But I see him now._

After lunch-which had tasted amazing-we left Hannah's and strolled along the sidewalk at a leisurely pace. The December day in Duluth was cold, but not miserable. With the right amount of layers of clothing, it felt great.

 _The perfect day,_ as James used to say. He loved cold weather. And Christmas.

"Wow, look at how beautiful everything is." James said as we passed the decorated store windows and street lamps that were adorned with big, red bows and lights. "This is my favorite time of year."

 _I know._ "Really?" I said, playing dumb. Again. "What about it do you love so much?"

"It's not something I can really put my finger on." He answered, glancing at me. He'd slipped on a crocheted beanie that covered his ears, but some of his hair jutted out at the bottom. Rosy cheeks and bright, hazel eyes filled my vision. "Sure, I love the decorations. The twinkling lights and trees. The music is beautiful. But there are also certain feelings that come with Christmas, at least to me. Joy. Hope. And love. It's like, for this one month, people are kind and giving."

I listened to him, feeling my chest crack open a bit as each word reached my ears. The only silver lining I saw in this whole screwed-up wish scenario was that I was getting the opportunity to fall in love with him all over again.

James looked away and gave a bashful smile. "I know that probably sounds silly."

"It doesn't." I answered, staring at the side profile of his handsome face. "More people should think like you. To most people, Christmas is a stressful time that's all about who has the most money and can get the best stuff to one-up the other."

"Money doesn't matter to me. I prefer something that's unique." He said, softer than before. His hazel eyes found mine again. "You can't put a price tag on gifts that come from the heart."

One reason I'd worked so hard to get that promotion had been because I'd wanted that huge paycheck to buy everything I wanted. To make a better life for James and me. Never once had I stopped to ask him what _he_ wanted. I had been so selfish.

"Like I said, more people need to be like you." I told him, smiling to lighten the mood.

Suddenly, it had become serious. Or maybe my own internal thoughts had just been weighing me down.

James answered me with another smile. "Well, I guess I better get back to work. Thanks for lunch, Kendall. It was… not what I expected."

"You're welcome." I ached to reach and take his hand, but I stopped myself. "Call me later. Or I can call you. You know, about the decorating and stuff."

"Sure." He said as he turned the other direction. Before he walked off, though, he glanced at me over his shoulder and waved. "Have a good day."

Longer than I should have, I watched him leave. I had told him that more people needed to be like him, but I knew no one else would ever be him.

Just like the clock that sat on the shelf above my fireplace, James was one of a kind.

XxX

The following Monday, I sat in my office, staring out the window. So much was on my mind. Work. James. The ticking of the damn clock, which reminded me again of James.

The project with the coffeehouse was underway and the creative team had been working their asses off getting everything in order. Christmas was fast approaching, so it was cutting it close with the commercial, but I knew we could pull it off. The commercial also mentioned how the coffee was perfect for those cold, winter nights, so although it centered around Christmas, it could air weeks after it was well.

I'd given the team my suggestions, and they'd intently listened and jotted notes each time I spoke, as I were God or something. More than likely because I could fire them if they made the wrong move.

Not that I ever would. But I had that power.

"Uh-oh." Jett said after poking his head into the room. "What's wrong?"

I motioned for him to come inside and close the door. He did.

"I saw James Saturday." I said, threading my hands through my hair.

Jett plopped down in the chair and froze. "Like, _the_ James? The one you think is your fiance?"

"I don't _think_ it. He is… or was. Anyway, that's not the point." Exhaling, I angled my face toward the desk.

"Then what _is_ the point?" Jett asked, drawing my attention back up. "You need some dating advice or something?" He laughed after he'd said it, but then got serious when he noticed my unwavering, somber gaze. "Wait, really? _You_ need dating advice?" Cupping his hands, he put them over his mouth, as if pretending it were a megaphone. "Attention, ladies and gentlemen, Hell has frozen over. I repeat: Hell has frozen over."

"Be serious." I said, but my amused tone contradicted the words. "James is unlike any other guy. I can't just flash him a flirty smile and hop in bed with him. No offense."

"None taken." Jett said with a thoughtful expression. "Honestly, what we had wasn't romance, Kendall, so I'm not much help. I know I didn't fully believe you before, but after seeing you this past week or so, I really do see a different guy. You're not the self-assured, cocky, son of a bitch you used to be."

 _What type of guy was I in this life?_

"Was I that bad?" I asked instead.

"You used people to get to where you wanted to be." He answered. "You weren't really mean or anything, but you cared more what other people, mainly the higher-ups, thought of you than what you thought of yourself." His brown-eyed gaze lifted to meet mine. "But you aren't that guy anymore. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is… I believe you. You're not the same Kendall Knight who used to boss me around one minute and ask to fuck the next. Yeah, that might make me crazy, too, but it's hard not to see something that's right in front of your eyes."

"It's easier than you think." I said from experience. "James was in front of me for years, and I'd let myself slip away and become blind to what really mattered in life."

A knock at the door made both of us jump.

"Come in." I said after clearing my throat.

A dark haired guy walked in with a sheepish expression. He looked about the same age as me and was part of the creative team, and if I remembered correctly, his name was Lucas or Logan… something with a L.

"Sorry to bother you, sir." He said, standing about a foot in the room and holding a poster board and disc. "We have the storyboard for the commercial, plus the unedited footage, and we needed your input."

"Okay, bring it over." I tried to sound as friendly as I could, not wanting to frighten the guy even more. "Your name is Logan, right?"

He nodded and approached the desk.

Jett looked up at him as he passed, and I didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on Logan's ass.

Taking the poster from him, I lay it flat on the desk and stood up to see it better.

It was sketched out in squares, with each square being a frame of the commercial. Santa placed gifts under the tree in one, and turned to see a plate of cookies and a mug in the next. He took a drink of the coffee before smiling and giving a jolly laugh.

I then grabbed the disc and popped it into my computer. As the commercial played, I scanned the storyboard, nodding when they touched on everything I'd requested.

Of course, the footage lacked the special effects, cinematography, and music that the final version would have, but it was a start.

"This looks great, Logan." I told him. "The only thing I'd suggest is on this last scene when it shows the coffee bag and Brew Emporium label, focus the camera on the bag and blur the surroundings, so the coffee is what the viewer sees, with the tree and fireplace as background."

"Will do, sir! Thank you."

Once Logan left, I looked back at Jett. He was smiling.

"What?"

"You're really good at your job." He answered. "Yeah, you were a workaholic and an asshole at times, but you deserve to be where you are. Are you sure you're ready to give it all up and go back to how things were?"

"I don't see it as giving it up." After sitting back down, I looked at my computer and clicked on a document I needed to read over. I had another presentation to a different client that afternoon about their clothing line. "When I'm back in my old life, this is still something I can achieve, I'll just go about it a different way."

"And what way is that?" Jett asked as he stood up.

"To be honest, I don't know. But I'll figure it out."

I loved having my ideas heard. As director of marketing, I had control over so many aspects of advertising-something I hadn't had before.

In my old life, my ideas had been ignored or only taken into consideration when nothing else had worked. Going back to that level of invisibility would suck, but after seeing this life, I knew it was possible to achieve my goals. With resilience and determination, I could have my voice heard.

However, if the only way to have that position was to lose James in the process, I didn't want it.

XxX

Later that evening, I decided to take a walk. My apartment was in the center of the city, so basically everywhere was in walking distance-well, the places worth going anyway.

The cold, crisp air bit into me, but I'd layered up so it wasn't too bad. I didn't have a set direction in mind. I'd just needed to move around. Sitting still was out of the question with how my mind was racing. And each second I spent at home doing nothing was another second lost.

Snow was in the forecast, and I could already smell it in the air. The old me probably would've snarled at such a thing, but I had a new attitude about it.

Main Street was lit up like a Christmas tree. Literally. Each lamppost had a string of lights wrapped around it and some of them had large ornaments hanging off the ends. Every store window had some sort of Christmas or winter scene.

Even though the sun had sunk below the horizon and night had taken its place, all the lights and bustle of people lit the place up.

A group of carolers stood in front of a shop, singing O, Christmas Tree in perfect harmony.

 _James would love this._

Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone and called him.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Kendall. How are you?"

Only two days had passed since I'd last seen him, but it felt like more. And it wasn't as if I hadn't tried seeing him the day before. He'd told me he was busy helping another client decorate her new restaurant, so I'd had no choice but to leave him alone.

"I'm okay." He answered in an off-tone. "Just ate dinner and now I'm sitting at home. How are you?"

I knew him way too damn well to believe that he was really okay, but I didn't want to freak him out by going all protective, caveman on him. I needed to be cautious with how I handled things.

"I'm great." I answered, stopping on the sidewalk and leaning against one of the lampposts. "I was restless, so I took a walk. If you aren't busy, maybe you can join me? It's sort of amazing out here. Everything is lit up and there are even some carolers."

James didn't answer right away, and the hope in my chest plummeted.

"Thanks for the invite, but I can't." James said, still in that off-tone. A tone that didn't fit his usual happy attitude. The urge to go to his house struck, but not knowing where he lived put an end to that plan. "I'm tired."

"Oh. Then maybe I can come see you." I suggested.

He sighed. "Kendall...I don't think that's a good idea."

 _What the hell?_

This was the second time he'd said something like that. First, when I'd offered to buy him lunch the other day, and now.

"Why not?" I asked, both afraid to hear the answer and needing to hear it.

"I'm not sure you even mean it in this way, so if I got the wrong impression, I'm sorry." He said in a rush. "But I don't date anymore. I just got out of a bad relationship, and the last thing I'm looking for is another guy who'll break my heart."

If I hadn't been leaning on the post for support, I probably would've fallen. My limbs went all wonky, and my throat tightened.

"Someone broke your heart?" I managed to ask. My voice took on a raspy edge, and I cleared it, fighting back the emotion trying to take over. "And I'm very interested in you, by the way. Just so you know the truth."

"Yeah. The wound's still too fresh, Kendall." He answered in such a way that I could see the expression on his face as he said it from memory. I'd made him sound that way on Christmas Eve. "Also, dating a client isn't appropriate. I'm sorry."

More words we said-small talk-before he told me goodnight and hung up.

"Dammit!" I punched the post, which was a dumbass move.

The couple standing several feet from me, listening to the carolers, shot me a look of surprise before moving away, casting stares at me as they went.

No longer feeling the Christmas spirit, I took off walking back to my building, pissed beyond belief.

Just before I entered the apartment complex, a snowflake landed on my arm-beautiful and unique.

" _Ken!" James called from outside. "Come here!"_

 _I was in the kitchen, unloading groceries for our dinner, when I heard him. Wondering what he was doing out there in the below freezing temperature, I stopped unloading the food and peeked outside the window above the sink._

 _James had walked down the porch steps and was in the backyard, holding his arms out and looking up at the night sky. The porch light gave off just enough light for me to see the smile on his face._

 _He met my stare and motioned for me to come out there. So, I did._

" _What is it, babe?" I asked, walking outside and shuddering at the blast of cold air. "Fuck, it's cold out here."_

" _No, it's perfect." He said, looking upward again and closing his eyes. "It's snowing."_

 _Some flakes fell into his hair and the ones that landed on his rosy cheeks melted right away. He was only in a sweater, so I shrugged off my jacket and draped it around his shoulder._

 _HIs eyes opened, and he beamed at me._

" _Every snowflake is unique, you know." He said, holding out his hand to catch one. "Beautiful, yet fragile. They say if you catch one in the palm of your hand, and can make a wish before it melts, that wish will come true."_

 _I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, kissing the tip of his cold nose. "And who is this_ 'they' _you speak of? I think you're making it up."_

 _James giggled and buried his face in my neck. "It's written in the Book of James. You don't know it. It's too advanced for your mind."_

 _That comment led to me tickling his sides, making him giggle even harder before running back up the porch and into the house. I chased him, finally catching him in the living room, where I tackled him on the couch._

 _Our lips met between our laughs, and I melted against him just like the snowflake had on his hand._

" _I love you, Jay." I whispered against his neck._

As the memory faded, tears sprang to my eyes. I'd do anything to go back to that night. It had been before I'd started pushing him away and focusing too much on my work.

The snowflake melted, and I looked up at the sky, seeing more snow slowly fall.

Everything quited around me, as it always seemed to do when it snowed.

I wanted to call James again, but he had made his point crystal clear. Maybe I could get him to change his mind. However, it wouldn't be tonight.

Once inside my apartment, I took off my coat and gloves and went to the kitchen to pour myself a drink. Preferably one with a lot of whiskey.

 _How can I get James to fall in love with me when he's sworn off dating?_

"Thanks a lot, Nick." I said with a snarl before taking a swig of the drink, wincing as it burned a bit going down. "You set me up for failure."

My gaze moved to the clock on the mantel, and I clenched my jaw. All my fucking issues had started with that damn thing.

"It's easy to place the blame on others for our own wrongdoings." A familiar voice said.

I looked to the left and saw Nick standing near the doorway, wearing a big, red winter coat and a red knitted hat.

Rolling my eyes, I took a bigger drink before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Not really in the mood to chat, Nicky boy." I said in full-on asshole mode. "Some warning before I took the clock home would've been nice, by the way. And not the cryptic shit you fed me."

"Would you have really learned a lesson if I would've told you the truth?" He asked in a level tone, walking closer. His cheeks were pink and I could've sworn his blue eyes twinkled behind his glasses for a moment.

"All you cared about was yourself. James was not a priority in your life, so much so that you waited until last minute to even remember to get him a gift. And that was _after_ disregarding his wants and needs for months. If I would've told you what would have happened once you were home, you might've left the clock in my store, but you would've taken your bitterness with you still."

There wasn't enough alcohol in my apartment for me to have this conversation with Mr. Santa Claus wannabe.

"So, you're a shrink now, too, Nick?" I laid my head down on the bar and closed my eyes. "I guess you do that on the side. When you're not ruining people's lives, of course."

"Some people are fortunate to believe without seeing." He said, and his voice sounded farther away. "And some people… well, some people must see to believe."

When I looked back up, he was gone.

* * *

 **Done! So, we got more Kames interaction this chapter! We also learned that the odds seem to be stacked against Kendall, since James has sworn off dating.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I absolutely loved hearing your thoughts on last chapter, and again, I hope you all enjoyed this one! :) The next chapter more than likely won't be up until this weekend sometime, so until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello everyone! Me again!**

 **Before we get into the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and winterschild11 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

December twelfth. Only a week and five days left before I ran out of time. I'd spent the night before drinking until I was too drunk to care about anything.

Of course, that's not exactly how it'd happened. Even while intoxicated, James was all I thought about.

And being emotionally fragile, I'd cried and drank until I'd passed out.

Waking up that next morning, I had one hell of a hangover and one hell of a broken heart. It was crazy to say it was broken, though, when I barely felt it in my chest at all. The only reminder was the fact that I was still alive. Barely.

I moved through my apartment, feeling like a zombie, lacking motivation to do anything but sit around and sulk. Seeing my phone on the kitchen counter, I grabbed it and winced as the bright screen threatened to burn my retinas. Yeah, that was an over exaggeration, but that's what it felt like.

Finding Jett's name, I sent a text.

 **Me:** _Hey. Do I have anything major going on today at work? Not sure I'll be able to make it in._

I had never called in for a sick day at work. There'd been some days-in the _before_ time-where I hadn't had to work and gone in on a Saturday or Sunday anyway to catch up and try to impress my boss with my dedication, ignoring James when he complained about not seeing me enough.

That's when our fighting had _really_ started, only growing worse over time.

 **Jett:** _Nope, your schedule is clear for the day. Are you okay? Do you need anything?_

 **Me:** _I'm just not feeling it today. Don't worry, though. I'll be in tomorrow._

After popping some pain killers for my head, I looked in my kitchen for something to eat, even though I didn't really have much of an appetite. Which I guess was good because I didn't have much food anyway.

I took a shower and stayed in there way longer than I intended. The hot water poured down over my tense shoulders and back, and it felt amazing. Not as amazing as something else though. James' body wrapped around mine.

 _Dammit!_

There was no forgetting him. But I didn't want to.

Deciding I'd only go crazy by staying in my apartment, I got dressed-throwing on lots of warm layers-and went outside.

The snow from the night before had created a blanket of white all over the ground. Some was still falling, and I stared up at the sky, remembering the expression on James' face when he did the same. The overcast day allowed me to see without cringing, so I was thankful for that fact.

I passed a coffee shop and ducked inside to grab a hot beverage. Caffeine had always helped my hangovers in the past. I bought a large cup of the house blend coffee, added some sugar and cream, before sitting at a table in the back and drinking it. I looked out the window as I did.

People in groups of all different types walked by. One was a woman and a child, and another group consisted of a man, woman, and two little girls. They all looked so happy. As if they had no worry of whether the person they loved would be there the next day. It was a fear I'd had since waking up in this crazy life and realizing I'd made a huge mistake.

All I wanted- _needed_ -was James. But I couldn't have him.

Two teenage boys stopped in front of the window, oblivious to me sitting on the other side and looking at them as they smiled at each other.

Something about their smiles touched me. So genuine and loving. And then the taller one leaned down to kiss the other.

That made the heart I'd believed to be broken just an hour ago skip a beat. Young love. I only hoped they cherished it instead of throwing it away.

Duluth was so welcoming. For as long as James and I'd been together, we'd never had issues. We held each other's hand in public, kissed when the mood arose, and lived out in the open for all to see.

I was happy to see that the two teenage boys had that same kind of freedom.

Of course, then my heartache returned, and I averted my gaze from them. Love was beautiful, but it only acted as a reminder of what I'd had and lost.

My stare fell to the cup in my hands. Each cup in the coffeehouse had various Christmas and winter designs as part of the promotion for the season. It made for great advertising. But something about the cup made me do a double take.

A man who I assumed to be Santa Claus smiled in the image: rosy cheeks, blue eyes, bearded. What freaked me out was how much he looked like Nick.

I could accept time traveling and magical clocks, but for some reason, it was more difficult to accept the fact that Santa Claus was real. More specifically… Nick _being_ Santa.

I hadn't put much thought into who Nick could be. To me, he was just some crazy dude who ran an antique store and popped up at random times to give cryptic advice.

"I'm losing my mind." I muttered to myself before taking another drink.

When I sat the cup back down, there was writing on it beside the man-writing that hadn't been there before. Just one word, but it affected me nonetheless.

Believe.

Nick had talked about believing and how some people had to see to believe. It got me thinking.

Would I have learned my lesson if I had known the truth of the clock? As I sat there in the coffeeshop, looking at a hand drawn depiction of a man who _couldn't_ exist, I finally allowed myself to answer it: no.

Believe. Maybe it meant more than just believing in Nick… but perhaps in myself as well.

James had said he didn't want to date. Okay. So, why not just hang out with him as friend? He was the love of my life. The other half of my soul, and the man who had my heart. Maybe for _him_ believe in love again, he had to be shown it.

If I could at least get him to agree to going out with me, maybe he'd feel what I felt. That we belonged together.

Hope blossomed in my chest again, and I quickly got out my phone.

 **Me:** _Hey, Jay. Are you at the shop today?_

His response was not immediate, but when my phone buzzed, I tapped the message with shaking hands, eager to read his text.

 **James:** _Yeah, I'm here. Why? Aren't you at work?_

 **Me:** _I took the day off. I wanted to come by, see you, and see how the designing was going._

 **James:** _Oh. Well, I'm here._

With a new determination, I stood from the table and threw my empty coffee cup away. The odds might've been stacked against me, but I was _not_ giving up.

Leaving the coffee shop, I welcomed the burst of cold air. It helped waken me and knock me out of the haze I'd been in. As I walked down the sidewalk, the amount of foot traffic died down as people went to work and kids went to school.

James' store wasn't too far away, so I headed in that direction, both anxious and eager to reach him.

When I got there, I entered the store and inhaled the lavender fragrance. I'd always associate the scent with him.

There wasn't a whole lot in the store, just some framed photos of rooms and work places he'd designed, as well as his magic touch around the room. He'd decorated the seating area, and it was amazing how the could make such a small space look so open.

Beige chairs sat beside the large window and a small table rest between them, holding magazines. A fireplace was in one corner of the room-although it didn't seem to work-and ivy laid on the mantel above it, as well as other simple Christmas decorations. Some areas of the room were carpeted and others were hardwood floor.

James' style could be described as classy, yet comfortable. He loved elegance, but he wanted it to feel welcoming as well. The decorations were beautiful, but not cluttered or cheesy.

A six foot Christmas tree stood beside counter. The green branches were adorned with red and gold ornaments, and the while lights reflected off each one, giving the area that indescribable feel of the season. One that told of love and gratitude. Warmth and joy.

"Kendall?" James poked his head in from the other room.

"Nope. It's Mr. Claus." I teased as I motioned to myself.

He grinned as he approached me. Some red paint was on his nose and cheek, and my gaze lingered on the specks a moment before lifting again to meet his eyes.

"It seems you're Rudolph." I said, watching his expression go from amused to confused. Before he could question my meaning, I stepped forward and waved a finger in front of his face. "You have some red paint right here."

"Oh my God. I'm a trainwreck." He laughed and wiped at his face. "I was testing out the shade I bought for your living room. Just seeing how it looked upon application and all that."

"I like it." I said, not taking my eyes off him.

His brunet hair lay flat, his eyes were so bright, and there was a pink flush to his cheeks. Long lashes cast shadows on his eyes as he turned his head toward the Christmas tree.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking back. "You look a bit… off."

"It's called a hangover." I answered with a laugh. "I've had worse, though, so I'm fine."

"Good. I need to sit down a minute." He said before moving his gaze to the seating area. "I've been working for hours."

I scrunched up my face. "Hours? It's just now nine a.m. What time did you get here?"

"Um…" His eyes darted to my face. "I kind of live here. At least for the moment." Embarrassment caused his cheeks to darken again and his voice became raspier, and I could tell he was fighting through the emotion he was trying so hard to hold back.

"I lived with my boyfriend, and when we broke up, he kicked me out. So… I've been living here for about a month." A smile lifted his lips, even though it was forced and didn't reach his eyes. "It's not so bad. I have a mini-fridge in the back and a mattress. Also, I'm right in the middle of town, so it's easy to get food when I want it."

I couldn't believe what he'd just said. Taking look around the place, I saw it in a different light.

A draft hit me, probably coming from the front door, and it didn't seem like the heater worked that well. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm enough to walk around barefoot.

But no worries. He had a matress and a fucking mini-fridge.

 _This isn't fucking happening._ My James was _not_ staying here another night.

"Wow, you look pretty disgusted." James said, taking my silence the wrong way. "I know it's not your fancy apartment, but it's the best I can do. I can't afford anything else right now. Heck, I can barely afford to rent this building."

I had told James many times-after we'd started dating-that he could just work from home. He didn't _need_ an office space for a designing company, and I had complained that it was just an extra expense for us-caring more about our financial situation than about his feelings.

But he'd disagreed, saying it looked more professional for him to have his own studio setup and a place for potential clients to walk-in and see what he had offer.

"Carlos still gives you a good deal on rent per month, doesn't he?" I asked without thinking.

James gaped at me. "How do you know Carlos?"

"We helped him advertise his pizza place a few years back." I casually answered.

It was the truth… in the other life, at least.

Rocque Inc. had put Carlos' pizza place back on the map, and that had led to me and James meeting him. He owned the buildings on that side of the street-inheritance from his grandfather-and he tried to cut James a good deal. They'd become close friends in the other life, and I only hoped that had happened in this reality as well, otherwise James would one hundred percent think I was mentally unstable.

"Oh yeah." James said as realization hit his face. "He told me about that before. However..." Hazel eyes burned into mine. "That doesn't explain how you knew about our payment arrangement."

Luckily, his phone rang after the question left his lips, and he pulled it from his back pocket.

"Jay Designs." He answered. A voice murmured on the other end, and he nodded. "Sure. I can do that. Just tell me when is good for you." James listened as the person responded. "Great! Thank you. I'll be in touch."

After he pocketed his phone, he looked back at me. "Sorry for taking the call. I just really need the business."

He was struggling to get customers? In the other life, he'd done extremely well. But then it occured to me… James never decorated Rocque Inc. That job had been the one to help get his name out into the world. My boss had recommended his designing services, and soon after that, most of the big companies and law firms around town had been calling him.

James decorating my workplace had been how we'd met. Since my wish had been to never have met him…that day never happened and he never landed the one job that would've helped him out tremendously.

Another selfish act on my part.

"I have a proposition for you." I said, following him to the set of chairs beside the window. "And please just hear me out before you answer."

Suspicion clouded his eyes, but he nodded, allowing me to continue.

"In case you haven't noticed, it's fucking freezing outside." I looked out the window and motioned to all the snow piled on the ground. Focusing back on James, I said, "I know you don't know me that well, and I'm just a client, but the thought of you staying here another night when the temperature is just going to keep dropping upsets me."

"I'm fine." He said, still with a leery expression.

"The fireplace doesn't work, the heater sucks, and there's draft coming from the door." I pointed out.

"What do you propose I do?" He asked with a scoff. "Come stay with _you_?"

I shrugged. "Well… yeah."

He clearly hadn't expected me to say yes. Once I answered him, his brows shot up and he made an adorably confused face.

"Really? You're serious?" He asked. "I could be an axe murderer for all you know, Kendall."

"Nah." I disagreed, looking into his hazel eyes. "There's not an evil bone in your body, Jay."

"Oh, yeah?" He smirked, trying for an impish grin, but it only made him look even more endearing. "What makes you so sure?"

 _Because I know you._

"I just am." I answered. "You can stay with me until you get back on your feet, or at least through the Christmas season."

 _Please say yes._

Having him stay at my place would give me a better chance at winning him over. And I also hated the idea of him sleeping in this damn shop. He deserved so much better.

"I'm not sure about this, Kendall." His furrowed brow and doubtful expression took the hope right out of my chest. But his next words brought it back. "I don't want to be a burden to you. I'd just get in the way."

"No, you wouldn't." I said, reaching for his hand but stopping myself before I made contact.

His gaze studied my retreating hand before lifting. "I meant what I said over the phone, too. About the no dating thing. I'm just not ready. So, if this is some ploy to-"

"It's not a ploy." I interjected. Yeah, I hoped it would allow us to grow closer, but my concern for _him_ was the main reason. "I have more than enough room. I only have one bedroom, but my couch is extremely comfortable." Not that I'd make him sleep there. He could take my room, and I'd sleep on the couch. "Consider it an opportunity to get a better look at my apartment while you're there. For decorating purposes."

James visibly pondered the suggesting before saying, "Are you _sure_ it's okay?"

"One hundred percent." I answered right away. "There's no catch to the offer. Just consider it a kindness from one friend to another."

I held my breath as I waited for his response.

"Okay… but only if I can help out with the expenses."

"Whatever makes you comfortable with the arrangement." I said, knowing damn well I wasn't letting him pay for a thing. Not when he was already struggling and my checking account alone had more money that I used to spend in a year. "So, is that a yes?"

"It's a yes." He smiled, and suddenly, I felt like everything would be okay. Wish or no wish, nothing could keep us apart forever.

XxX

After leaving James' store, I went home to put on a nice suit instead of the jeans and sweater I'd worn before going into work. I'd told Jett I wasn't going to be in today, but I was feeling much better.

Besides, James had a client coming around noon, so I needed a way to pass the time before he came over later.

I was all smiles as I walked through the office. The people in their cubicles gawked as I passed their desks, whistling Christmas carols.

Jett popped his head up as I approached his desk. "I thought you were sick."

"Never said I was sick." I pointed out and winked. "But I had a change of heart. So, here I am. Any updates on the Brew Emporium commercial?"

"Um…" He grabbed a page from the printer and stood up, following me into my office. "The team sent over their report this morning. Looks like everything is on track. It should be good to air before the week is out. Just have to get the stamp of approval and work out the finer details with the TV networks."

"Good." I walked to the floor-to-ceiling window and peered outside at the deep layer of snow. "What about the advertisement for Duncan's Toys? The commercial aired nearly two weeks ago. Any news on how successful it's been so far?"

The Duncan campaign had been in effect before I even woke up in this reality, so I had no recollection of working on the project. Supposedly, I'd had some ingenious ideas for it, however, creating a commercial showing the toys in the store coming to life and dancing to The Nutcracker theme song.

"Not sure." Jett answered. "But I can check and get back to you."

"Please." Tearing my gaze from the snow. I turned and walked to my desk. "Oh, have we set a date for the office Christmas party yet?"

"Yep. The twenty-second." He answered, still standing in the middle of the room. "It's the Friday before Christmas. Some people will be on vacation, but it's okay since it's not a mandatory thing. It was the only date that didn't interfere with deadlines."

I nodded and wrote a note on my calendar for that day. Feeling eyes on me, I glanced up at Jett. "Is something wrong?"

He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer. "Are you back to your old self?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're more confident today than you have been." He answered before smiling slightly. "It's not necessarily a bad thing, I guess. Just… for the past few days, you've been preoccupied with how to get back to your old life. But today, it's like you're embracing the new one."

"I'm happy." I said, feeling the truth of my words in the way my heart fluttered in my chest. "This morning, I saw James, and I think things will work out. He's shut off from the idea of dating, but I'm hoping that once he gets to know me better, he'll change his mind."

"Ah, so you plan to woo him."

I snorted and gave Jett and incredulous look. "Woo? Do people even say that anymore?" He shrugged, and we both chuckled. "I guess that's what I plan to do, though. Only not as medieval. Then again… Jay loves that old-fashioned stuff. Maybe a grand gesture would win him over."

"You might wanna wait until he really knows you first, though." Jett said with a nod. "Otherwise, he'll think you're batshit crazy. Small steps. Like, start with dinner and work your way up to the knight in shining armor shit."

The phone on my desk rang before I could respond, and I help up a finger to Jett before answering it. "Kendall Knight."

"Hello, Mr. Knight." A woman's voice said from the other end. "This is Camille from the finance department."

She then gave me a run-down of the quarter's numbers, and I jotted down what she said, pulling up a chart from the previous quarter. I smiled when I noticed we'd met our goals, plus some, since then.

Once I was off the phone, I briefly talked to Jett before he went back to his desk. My mood had only gotten better as the day progressed. James had agreed to stay with me, I was kicking ass at my job, and I had the luxurious life I'd always dreamed of having.

As everything started falling into place, I wondered if there was a way to have James _and_ stay in this reality. Why did I have to return to a past life, when I could have everything I ever wanted in the present?

Suddenly, the ticking clock that loomed over my head, counting down the days to Christmas Eve, didn't seem quite as daunting.

* * *

 **Done! So, it seems that James is going to be staying with Kendall! It also seems that Kendall is starting to embrace his new life a bit.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! The next one will be up sometime within the week, so until then! :D**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again everyone! :D**

 **So, before we started here, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and winterschild11 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Around seven that evening, I picked up James and took him to my apartment. He'd only brought two small pieces of luggage and a backpack of his necessities, and I helped him carry them in, putting them in my bedroom. He'd left his non-essentials at his store and had only brought his clothes, shoes, and personal items like razors, a toothbrush, deodorant, and cologne.

"Is it okay if I hang up some of my clothes?" He asked once we'd set down the suitcases. "I don't want my shirts getting wrinkled."

"Go for it." I said. "Need any help?"

Of course, he didn't, so I left the room to give him some space to get settled. Neither of us had eaten dinner, but it was too cold outside. I didn't want to go back out in it if I could avoid it.

"Is Chinese okay?" I called from the kitchen. "I can order it and have it delivered."

"That'd be great!" He called from my bedroom before sticking his head out to look at me. "I'll have-"

"Sweet and sour chicken with a side of fried rice and an eggroll, right?" I asked without thinking as I pulled up the search engine on my phone to get the number of the restaurant.

I scrolled down the list and clicked to the one we both loved. Not receiving an answer, I looked up to see his stunned expression, and I realized my slip-up.

It was what James always ordered. But I wasn't supposed to know that.

 _Shit._

Immediately, I tried to think of an excuse as to why I knew his order, but nothing came to me. _Shit, shit, shit…_

His brows pulled together and his mouth opened a little, as if he was going to say something, but then it closed.

"Jay… I-"

"When you came into my store the first time, you asked if I knew you." He said, walking closer. "Why did you ask that? When I told you no, you said you were mistaken, but you seem to know things about me, Kendall. And honestly, it's freaking me out a little..."

"I'm psychic?"

 _Oh for fuck's sake, I did_ not _just say that._

"Psychic..." James said in a disbelieving tone, eyes narrowing.

"Just kidding." I said, smiling through my nerves. "That's what I was going to get, so I thought I'd be smooth and try to guess your order. So, I was right?"

Fortunately, he seemed to fall for the lie, because the distrust vanished from his face and he returned my smile. "Yeah, you were. You're freaky, Kendall."

Another bullet dodged. Thank God.

"But I'm harmless." I said, lifting a brow. "I mean, _you're_ the axe murderer, so you have nothing to fear."

James giggled, and it was one of my favorite sounds in the world, even though he despised it.

"Dammit, don't make me laugh. It's so embarrassing." He said before covering his mouth.

"Whatever, Sir McGiggles a Lot." I teased, using the nickname I gave him after I first heard it four years ago.

Of course, the James in front of me didn't remember that.

He didn't recall any of our funny moments, or the countless times I'd made love to him, slow and tender, just the way he loved. The kisses we'd shared or the way his lips fit so perfectly against mine. All of that was lost to him.

"Can you stop teasing and order the damn food now?" He asked as he fought a smile. "I'm starving."

 _We can make new memories._

If I failed and couldn't get him to fall in love with me by deadline, I could spend the rest of my life in _this_ reality with him.

Once the food was ordered, I poured a glass of wine and started the fire-it was one of those electronic ones that wasn't an actual wood burning fire-before sitting on the couch.

He walked closer to the fire, studying it, before his gaze lifted to the clock on the mantel. "Oh my god. This is gorgeous." His fingers lightly glided along the green exterior and traced the gold designs. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he asked, "Where did you get this?"

"Some small Christmas shop." I answered, trying my hardest not to show my revulsion for the damn thing. "I think it's closed down now."

James nodded and turned back to it. "It doesn't work. But that doesn't make it any less beautiful."

After giving it one final look, he walked over and sat beside me, leaving less than a foot between us.

"So, Kendall Knight." He said after taking a sip of his wine. "Tell me about yourself. Why do you love the advertising business?"

I fucking loved the way he said my name. My dick stirred, and I shifted as I adjusted myself.

"Not exactly sure." I answered, looking from the fire to James' eyes that were like a fire of their own-vibrant hazel that scorched my soul, forever marking me as his.

"When I was a kid, I loved commercials. Yeah, I know that's nuts, but I did. I'd watch each one and wonder how they were made. Then, I started paying more attention to billboards when I left the house and how stores set up their displays."

He smiled as I talked, and I had to force myself to stay focused instead of getting lost in his eyes again.

"One time," I continued. "I even told a man in a store that his display was all wrong, and that he'd never sell the new Power Ranger toy if he didn't change it. I was six or seven, I think. The display was hidden behind a column or something, if I remember correctly, that made it difficult for people walking into the store to even see it."

"Did he tell you to get lost?" James asked with a snort.

"No, he actually listened to me." I said, grinning when he gave me a disbelieving look. "I'm not even bullshitting you. He switched that display with one for a not so popular toy that was more in the center of the store. Like a week later, I went back with my dad, and the man thanked me. He'd sold out of the Power Rangers toys and had to order a new shipment. I guess it was around that time when I thought about doing it more when I grew up."

James had loved when I told that story-the first time-and he seemed to love it now as well.

"Wow. That's impressive." He said. "I knew I wanted to be a designer when I was around eleven. My grandma passed away, and my mom fixed up her house so it could be sold. The wallpaper was outdated and the paint on some of the walls was caked with nicotine from all the cigarette smoke throughout the years."

I knew the story already, but I listened and tried to give no indication that I did.

Hearing James' voice as he spoke filled me with longing, and for the thousandth time since my stupid wish came true, I cursed myself for ever being so fucking stupid and not realizing that I'd had the most important thing right in front of me all along.

"Mom stripped the wallpaper and put primer on the walls before deciding what color to paint them." James continued after sipping more of his wine. "During the process, she asked me for my opinion a lot. I fell in love with it. The process of choosing color schemes and decorations, taking something outdated or frumpy and making it new and appealing."

His eyes reflected that love as he spoke it.

"After we finished with Grams' house," He continued. "I asked Mom if I could re-decorate our home, too. Before long, I was collecting home and decor magazines, cutting out pictures I loved and hanging them on my wall. My days were spent sketching furniture and houses."

"You turned your obsession into profession." I said.

"Basically." He agreed with a laugh.

The doorbell chimed, and I set my wine down.

"Food's here." I said before going to answer the door and paying the delivery man-giving him a generous tip-and bringing our food to the table.

James joined me, bringing some silverware, and we sat down to eat.

Over dinner, he told me more about his childhood. His favorite subjects in school, hobbies, and funny stories about his mom. He was an only child, and his dad hadn't been around, so it'd been just him and his mom. They had an incredible relationship, and he said she'd been one of his best friends. She still was.

Even though I knew a lot of his past, I found myself rediscovering things I'd forgotten about him.

Falling in love with him all over again.

After we ate, I put the leftovers in the fridge and asked James if he wanted more wine. I was enjoying his company, and I hoped he was enjoying mine. Sitting with him by the fire sounded like a perfect night to me.

Just anything that let me spend more time with him.

"I'd love some more." He said, holding his glass out. Once I filled it, he sat in the same spot on the couch he'd been in earlier. He concentrated on the fire and a peaceful expression crossed his face. Peaceful and maybe a little reflective as well. "Do you ever wish you could go back and redo the past?"

The seriousness of his question, and the tone of voice he'd asked it in, caught me of guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked, filling my own glass before joining him on the couch.

Hazel eyes shifted to me. "If you could go back to a certain moment when you did something and prevent yourself from doing said thing… would you?" He asked, dropping his gaze to the glass in his hands. "Something that would save you so much heartache."

"Yes." I answered as my mind drifting to my current situation. If I could go back and tell myself not to make that stupid wish, I would. "But I think that we also learn from those moments. When we make mistakes, we can learn from them and grow to be better people. Having the bad helps us appreciate the good." I added.

I wasn't the same guy I used to be. In this life or the other one. Not by a long shot.

"Maybe." He answered before taking a drink. "I just wish-"

"Be careful what you wish for." I warned, raising my brows and quickly looking at the demon clock on the mantel before turning back. "You never know when it'll come true."

He smiled, despite the faraway look in his eyes. "Believe me… this is one wish I'd love to come true." I waited for him to say more about the wish, but he didn't. "But I guess it doesn't matter anyway. It's not like it'd ever happen."

"You'd be surprised." I said, lifting my glass to take a drink, glaring at the clock again over the rim.

Conversation turned lighter after that as James asked about my favorite movies and music, and I suspected the reason was because he wasn't at the level of comfortability to open up yet. Which was fine. It was only the first night.

We talked for another two hours before he yawned and looked at the time.

"Don't you have to work in the morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, we should probably get to bed." Catching how my words could've been taken the wrong-but oh so right-way, I backtracked. "I mean, you get in my bed, and I'm taking the couch."

"Kendall, I don't want to take your bed." He patted the cushion and leaned back on it. "I don't mind sleeping here."

"Well, _I_ mind you sleeping there." I said, standing up. "You're a guest in my house. Come on." I stuck out a hand, and he reluctantly accepted it before I pulled him to his feet. "My bed is fucking amazing. You'll love it."

James lightly laughed and walked with me to my room. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched me as I went through my drawers to find a pair of sleep pants.

After finding them, I went into the bathroom to change and came back out, looking at him.

"Goodnight, Jay."

His brows drew together as he studied me. I wanted to ask what was on his mind, but I refrained from doing so. He'd tell me when he was ready.

"Goodnight, Kendall."

Leaving the room without a goodnight kiss was damn hard. With the exception of that Christmas Eve night, we'd never gone to bed without at least one kiss. Going to bed angry at each other had been something we'd hardly ever done. Even the weeks and days leading up to Christmas Eve, we might not have been on the best of terms, but we'd made sure to do at least that before going to sleep.

There was even one time when I'd been in a ranting mood, complaining about everything under the sun, and James had closed the distance between us, grabbed my face, and crushed his lips to mine. It had been unexpected, but the precise thing I'd needed to jolt out of my fit.

I wanted to walk right back into that room and-

 _Behave, Kendall. Don't scare him off._

I plopped onto the couch and put a hand behind my head as I stared at the ceiling, reminiscing about my time with him that evening. It had gone better than I'd imagined. The connection between us was undeniable.

I only hoped he felt it, too.

XxX

The following Saturday marked four days since James had been staying with me. Within that time, we'd talked every evening once I got home from work and had gotten to know each other better. Sometimes it had been small talk , but even the less serious line of conversation had been amazing.

At times, one of us would say something so ridiculous that we'd bust a gut laughing so hard. It felt just like old times… before I'd become too obsessed with my work.

A part of me was thankful for the opportunity to rediscover James, to fall in love with him again. I'd been blinded for so long, and my eyes had never been more open as he sat across from me that morning, drinking his coffee and reading a book on his Kindle.

In the mornings, James' hair did this thing where the right side flipped a little bit near his ear, going a little rogue as it formed into a little curly Q. As his attention was on the book, my attention was on him, studying the strand of hair and aching to twirl it around my finger like I used to do.

A memory flashed through my mind.

" _What are you staring at?" James asked in a sleep-heavy voice as the golden light came in through the window, shining on his brunet hair._

 _I'd woken up only a few minutes before him, and I'd been admiring his beauty. We had only known each other for a month, but my heart didn't seem to register_ _the amount of time. I was already falling for him._

 _No one had ever captivated me like he did._

" _There's a strand of hair. Right here," I touched the piece by his ear. "That's curled in a little Q." I hooked my finger around it, playing with the strand, as I met his hazel-eyed stare. "It's cute."_

 _James rewarded me with a breathtaking smile. "Cute, huh? Not sure how I feel about that."_

 _I kissed him then. Gentle and unrushed. His tongue danced with mine, and I moaned into his mouth._

 _We'd stayed up late the night before having mind-blowing sex, but I already craved him again, just as I assumed I'd forever crave him_

 _After pulling back back from the kiss, I nuzzled my forehead against his, feeling a tingling in my chest, as if I'd finally found the other half of my heart._

"You okay?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I focused on James. "Huh?"

"You were zoning." He said creasing his brow. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You look sort of sad."

"I'm fine." I said and took a drink of my coffee, making a face when I realized it was cold. I stood and walked to the microwave to heat it. After I sat back down, I smiled at him. "What do you want to do today?"

"I called the painters, and they're going to be here around ten-thirty to paint the living room." He said before hesitating and nibbling his bottom lip. "We'll need to be out of their way, but it shouldn't take them too long since they're just doing the one wall. Is that okay?"

The decorating of my apartment meant nothing to me. It had only been a way to see James more. But I knew it'd turn out great regardless.

If I was able to reverse this wish, it wouldn't matter anyway. We'd be back in our old lives.

"Sure." I answered, gazing out the window. The sun was out, so it might be cold out, but not unbearably so. "We can walk around town until they're finished. Maybe grab lunch later. It won't be too hard to find ways to pass the time."

After we showered-not together, unfortunately-we got dressed. It was fun getting ready with him. We were in my closet, looking through our clothes for the day, and we kept bumping into each other and laughing like a couple of teenagers.

Once the painters arrived, and James gave them more instructions on how he wanted it done, we left the apartment.

Just as I'd suspected, it was cold but not too bad. The layers of clothes helped.

Winters in Duluth were always cold, so I was pretty much accustomed to frigid temperatures. Some of the snow had melted and turned to slush in the busier parts of town-mostly the roads and areas that saw a lot of foot traffic-but the majority of it was still there.

As we walked down the sidewalk, James deeply inhaled before turning to me. "I love the smell of snow. Well, more like the smell in the air when it snows."

"No, admit it." I said in a teasing tone. "You go around huffing Frosty. Do you also deck the halls with Frosty's balls?"

His answering giggle caused me laugh, too.

"You're so bad." He said after composing himself. But then, his face reddened and his eyes watered before he busted out laughing again. "Oh my god, I can't breathe."

My chest swelled with pride at having made him laugh.

When James laughed, it was honest. When he smiled, his kind heart reflected in the gleam of his eyes. I wanted to spend the rest of my life ensuring that smile never faltered. It was a moment similar to that one when I'd proposed to him.

On Christmas the year before, we'd been sitting by the fireplace and looking at the falling snow. I had cracked a joke about chestnuts, calling them _deez nuts_ , and he'd giggled so hard, he'd snorted. I'd slid off the couch and onto the floor, taking his hands in mine before bringing them up so I could kiss his knuckles. He'd watched me with a curious expression, and then had started crying when I'd popped the question.

My sudden silence caused him to stop laughing and tilt his head.

"Everything okay?" He asked, pulling me from the memory.

I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak. A lump wedged in my throat, and I cleared it as I looked the other way.

As we walked past the stores, I wanted to take his hand, but stopped myself.

He'd opened up to me some the past four days, but that didn't mean he viewed me as anything more than a friend. Things had stayed strictly friendly between us, although I'd caught him looking at me sometimes with that same bashful smile he used to give me in our old life-one where he'd glance away before looking back.

He still hadn't mentioned his last relationship. Not that I wanted to hear about him with another guy, but I hated the thought of him being hurt.

"Can we go in here?" James asked, stopping in front of a fabric store.

We went inside, and I watched him as he walked down each aisle, gliding his hands along the sheets of fabric and giving his opinion on each one. He beamed like a kid in a candy store.

The store wasn't my kind of thing, but anything that made him smile like _that_ was worth it. He looked around for about thirty minutes before we left.

Back outside, we stirred up conversation again.

It took a while for me to snap out of my somber mood from earlier, but once I did, the laughing returned and we even went into one of the toy stores on the strip and made asses of ourselves, putting on Hulk hands and chasing each other down the aisle. Just being silly. Yeah, I was too old to behave like a damn teenager, but whatever.

It was perfect.

When it was time for lunch, we popped into Hannah's for a burger and fries. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard, but once I took that first bite of beefy, cheesy goodness, I groaned and all jokes were put aside until my plate had nothing but a few crumbs.

"I didn't know a fancy businessman could be so awesome." James said before wiping his mouth and sitting back in his chair, rubbing his stomach. "This is the most fun I've had in forever."

"Me too. But it's not over yet."

"True." He glanced at his phone, and his smile faded.

I didn't want to be nosy, but I tilted my head a fraction to see his screen. A text message. But it was too far away for me to read. When he looked back up, I darted my gaze to something else.

"The painters should be done now, if you want to head back to the apartment." He said, attempting to cover the hurt that had been in his eyes.

"Great."

I paid for our meal before we walked outside. A gut feeling told me the text was from his ex-boyfriend. Only something like that would've caused his change in attitude.

Seeing a sign for the Christmas tree farm, an idea struck.

"You know… I still don't have a tree." I pointed out, shoving my hands in my pockets and looking at him. "And Christmas is only a little over a week away."

"I've noticed." He said. "Do you want to get one?"

James loved real trees, not so much the artificial ones. The thought of shopping for one together and putting it up in my apartment excited me, because I knew it'd make him happy, taking away whatever sadness and hurt that had flashed through his eyes when he saw that text and was still lingering now.

"I'd love to. I don't think I have any decorations for it, though."

He smiled, and I noticed some of the light come back to his eyes. "Looks like we have some shopping to do then."

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like Kames is getting along well and starting to bond a little bit!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will be up this weekend at the latest, so not _too_ long of a wait for that. :)**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again everyone! :D**

 **Before we get into this, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Guest, and Side1ways for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Dragging the seven and a half foot tall Frasier Fir tree through the doorway was a challenge, but we accomplished it with only using the bare minimal amount of curse words. The workers at the tree farm had helped us wrap the tree, so we worked on taking the wrapping off once it was through the door and sitting in the living room.

I glanced at the new, red accent wall after we'd set the tree down and nodded, pleased with how it turned out.

"It really does liven up the place." I said, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm glad you approve." James said as he walked into the kitchen, grabbed two glasses from the cabinet, and filled them with water before handing me one. "Let's take a breather for a few and then we can set up the tree."

Once we rested for a bit, we managed to move the tree to the other side of the fireplace, where it sat with the large window behind it. James had picked out the tree skirt, red and gold color scheme for the ornaments and garland, and he'd chosen the colored lights.

"We need Christmas music while we do this." James suggested, peeking at me over one of the dark-green branches. Strands of his brunet hair stuck out from the beanie he wore, and his cheeks were still rosy from the cold air nipping at them. And the smile lighting his face was fucking magnificent. "Can I put some on?"

"Whatever you want." I answered as my heart skipped a beat.

He pulled up a music app on my Blu-ray player and selected a Christmas station. As Jingle Bells sounded through the speakers, he returned to his spot beside me and put his hands on his hips.

"Okay, let's string the lights." He said before bending over to pull them from the shopping bag.

I couldn't help but look at his ass as he did.

Dammit, I was so fucking horny. Yeah, I could probably get sex from any number of people, but James was the only one for me-the only one I wanted-and I wouldn't ever stop loving him. Not until the breath left my lungs… and possibly not even then.

Before he caught me checking him out, I moved my attention back to the tree.

"We should wrap the lights a little around each branch." I suggested, remembering the trick he had taught me during our first Christmas together. "That way, it spreads out the lights more, and prevents those dark holes."

"No way. I always do that." He looked at me in awe. "Most people just lay it on the branch and move on."

"Well, a friend taught me the trick, so I can't take all the credit." I said, trying to fight the urge to move closer to him.

He smelled like a combination of the earthy scent of the tree and the cologne he'd put on early that morning, and I had the impulse to lean forward and bury my face in his neck. I didn't, but dammit, the desire was strong.

"This friend sounds pretty great." He said with a smile.

"Only the best." I answered as an ache touched my heart. Knowing I'd breakdown if I kept looking at him, I dropped my gaze to the lights in his hands. "Ready to put those babies on the tree?"

"Not to boast, but I'm kind of an amazing Christmas decorator." James said, giving me a playfully snooty expression. "Move aside and watch how it's done, Mr. Knight."

I motioned for him to continue, grinning at his self-assured behavior. All a show, of course. He was the least arrogant person I knew.

After the lights, it was time for the garland.

"Are you gonna let me help with this one?" I asked, shoulder bumping him.

He chuckled. "I guess so."

We moved around each other as we strung the gold galand, making sure it was all evenly spaced among the branches, otherwise James would freak out. As he walked around the tree, placing the garland as he went, I worked on doing the same with the other gold strand.

That's when we bumped into each other.

More laughs were shared, and for a moment, I wondered if he was fighting the same urges I was.

Against my chest, he glanced at me, and the look in his eyes made my pulse quicken. His gaze darted to my lips before lifting again, and his chest rose and fell faster than before.

The attraction between us was intense, as was the sexual tension.

Just as I thought he was going to kiss me, he stepped back. "I think it's time for the ornaments now." He grabbed the box of them and opened it, and perhaps it was just my paranoid mind, but it seemed like he was intentionally avoiding looking at me. "I like to place some of them inside the tree, too, to fill the holes and make it shinier."

 _I'd like to fill_ your _hole._

I coughed to cover up my laugh before sitting on the floor and grabbing the small container of hooks. "I can hook them and then hand them to you."

Without looking at me, he answered, "Sounds like a plan."

I felt him with withdrawing, but I didn't understand why. We'd been having such a great time, and then one moment of us staring into each other's eyes had caused him to become distant. It was the one side of James I'd never seen before.

His last relationship must've really screwed him up, making it difficult for him to move on.

What had happened, though? Had he been cheated on?

Keeping my questions to myself nearly made me inwardly combust, but I knew it wasn't the right time to ask him about his ex-boyfriend. He was already distant. Bringing up a heavy topic would only make him even more distant.

Once the tree was decorated from top to bottom, we stepped back and regarded it, tilting our heads from side to side.

"Damn." I said, admiring it. "I think this is the best one we've had in a while." _Shit!_ "I mean, the best one _I've_ had. We did great."

James didn't even react to my slip of the tongue, and instead, he gave a curt nod before walking to the window and staring outside. He crossed his arms and rested against frame.

"Jay?"

Slowly, he turned, and his expression was indifferent.

"Please tell me what's wrong." I said, unable to hide the concern in my voice. "Did I upset you?"

Finally, some emotion. The facade slipped, and in its place was a deep sadness reflected in his eyes.

"No, you didn't. I just…" He faced the window again. "I'm confused, plus other emotions I'm not quite sure how to describe. When I'm around you, I feel… different. Like I've known you way longer than just a week or so."

Acting on impulse, I approached and wrapped my arms around him from behind.

When he was upset, he loved being surrounded. It made him feel safe.

The realization that _this_ James might not appreciate the sentiment knocked into me, and I started pulling away. "I'm sorry-"

"No." His hands touched my arms, putting them back in place around him. "Stay."

So, I did.

He didn't elaborate on his thoughts, and I didn't inquire about them. I just held him. We stayed that way for a while-maybe five minutes or possibly an hour. I didn't know. All I knew was how warm he felt in my arms, and how I never wanted to let go.

When he finally pulled away, his eyes found mine. "Thanks. You must think I'm weird. I told you I swore off romance, but then I behave like this. I'm not always so indecisive."

"I don't think you're weird." I denied, offering him a reassuring smile. "You're hurting and needed the comfort. I'm your friend, Jay. Yeah, we haven't known each other long, but I'm here for you."

James studied me. "I like when you call me Jay. No one else does."

"I'm psychic, remember?" I said with a wink. He laughed, and I reveled in the sound. "Are you hungry? I could totally go for some pizza."

"You really _are_ psychic." He said, rolling his eyes before breaking out into another smile. "Make it a sausage pizza, and I'm game."

 _I'll show you sausage…_

"Awesome." I said, walking to the coffee table to grab my phone.

After I called in the order, we sat on the couch and talked about the red wall and how well it fit with the new Christmas decorations in the room. Yeah, more small talk, but it was better than not talking at all.

The pizza arrived, and we brought it to the couch with us, choosing to eat it out of the box instead of dirtying plates. I got a beer and poured some wine for him, and the talking continued.

He suggested I get a set of lamps to put on either side of the couch, and maybe another chair for the empty spot to the right.

"It'll make it feel more like home." He said, smiling.

Little did he know that my home was where he was.

XxX

Monday morning, I left the house after telling James bye and drove to work. Christmas was exactly one week away, and the anxiety of that fact made it hard to function. I hadn't even been able to finish my breakfast that morning once I realized the date.

James and I'd grown closer as friends over the past week, but I feared romance any time soon was out the question. The only thing kind of holding me together was my new plan.

If I couldn't make him fall in love with me before Christmas Eve, I could stay in this life and try to win him over. All was not lost.

Walking into the office, I greeted each person I passed, trying to keep a positive attitude. There was a small part of me that even wanted to stay in this reality instead of going back to the old one. But I knew that desire was derived from selfishness.

Jett met me at the door and followed me inside my office, giving me an update on the current news. Sales were up and potential clients were reaching out with interest in hiring our company after the New Year.

"You're kind of a rock star right now." Jett said, raising a brow. "And even more than that, the people in this office have been talking about you." He put out a hand, as if to halt an invisible force. "No worries. It's all been good things. _Much_ better than what they used to call you."

"What did they call me before?" I asked, not sure I really wanted to know.

Jett had already informed me of the asshole I used to be.

"Um. One was the office cobra. Because you were deadly and could strike out of the blue. And just, like, the usual names." He said, clearly trying to dissuade me from pressing further. "What matters _now_ is they're calling you 'nice' and 'a great leader.' That's pretty big."

Deciding to let the topic drop, I moved onto another, asking him about the creative team and whether they'd made the changes I'd suggested on another advertisement. They had.

During my questioning, I noticed something. Jett was more cheerful than usual. Even when he was standing there, giving me a rundown of finances, a small smile lingered in the corner of his mouth, as if his mind was elsewhere.

"Is that all you need, sir?" He asked after answering my last question.

"Yes. But before you leave… what's going on?"

"Not sure what you mean." He said as his forehead scrunched. At my knowing look, a shy smile formed on his face as he glanced down, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "I'm just happy." His brown-eyed gaze lifted again. "I'm kind of seeing someone."

A tingling touched my chest as I took in his words. Jett was a great guy, and he deserved someone who'd make him happy.

"That's great." I responded. "And around Christmas, too. Seems you have some magic of your own."

Jett scoffed, but he couldn't hide his warm smile. "I wouldn't call it magic, Kendall. It's not some freaky crap like what's going with you, anyway. Logan and I are just-"

"Wait, Logan? From the creative team?"

He nodded. "Um...yeah. Is that bad?"

"Not at all." And I meant it. "It's sweet, actually. I'm happy you found someone."

If I ever returned to my old life, I'd do everything in my power to ensure those two met.

As the work day continued, I had to make a quick run to another office to grab a file for a new pitch they needed approval on, but stopped when I passed the lobby.

James needed a lift in his business, so why not give him the opportunity that first helped him in the other life? Plus, the room was in dire need of his touch.

I'd need to get permission from Gustavo-who was still the head of the company-but I doubted he'd say no. Astoundingly, he actually liked me in this reality, and no ass-kissing had been necessary.

He had liked me in the other one, too, but I'd had to give up so much of my time to achieve such a thing. I'd pleased him more than my fiance.

Before returning to my office, I went to Gustavo's. He was on the phone when he motioned me inside, so I entered and stood a few feet from his desk, waiting for him to hang up. I didn't intentionally eavesdrop, but it sounded like he was on the phone with his wife.

He kept repeating, "I know" and "I will" over and over.

"Sorry about that, Kendall." He said after setting the phone down. "What can I do for you?"

I explained my idea to have the office decorated, and he nodded as he listened.

"I just think it would show any potential clients that we don't just talk the talk about advertising." I said, tapping into my creative side and using those skills against my own boss. "A new image for the company is what will help push to that next level. A picture says a thousand words. We know this all too well with our profession. We spend hours analyzing a single image for billboards and magazines. But you have to ask yourself… when a client walks into our office and sees such a lifeless, drab lobby… what does that say about us and the message we hope to send?"

Gustavo smirked and pointed at me. "You're good, Mr. Knight. A little _too_ good. All right I'm sold on the idea. Did you have a certain person in mind for the job?"

"In fact, I do." I said, picturing James' face in my mind. "And he's perfect."

XxX

"You _what_?" James asked with wide eyes.

"I got you a job." I said before explaining my conversation with Gustavo. "He says you can come into the office, look around, and get some ideas going. Then, after Christmas, he'd love for you to re-decorate the whole place, focusing specifically on what people see when they first walk in."

James regarded me with awe. "Do you really believe in me that much?"

"Of course. You're damn good at what you do, Jay." I walked into my bedroom, undoing my tie, and called to him. "What do you want for dinner? I'm thinking Thai."

His response wasn't immediate, so I walked into the closet to take off my shoes and put them back in place.

When I turned around, James was right behind me, and I jumped.

"Sorry." He said with a amused gleam in his eyes. "I didn't want to shout. Before you got home, I stopped by the store and picked up a few groceries. Is it okay if I cook us dinner? If not, that's okay, I-"

"That'd be excellent." I cut in, remembering the amazing meals he used to make. "Do you want me to help?"

Memories stirred of when we used to be in the kitchen together. Him seasoning chicken and placing it in the skillet to pan fry while I washed and chopped vegetables. I wasn't a great cook by any means, but I'd enjoyed helping him.

"Can you peel potatoes?" He asked in a hopeful tone. He bit his bottom lip and his expectant gaze lingered on mine.

My heartbeat accelerated, and my mouth suddenly felt dry. He was too fucking sexy.

"Sure."

He left me alone so I could finish changing out of my work clothes and into more casual ones. I put on a pair of jeans and a V-neck sweater before walking back out into the living room.

The Christmas tree was lit, and the only other lights in the area came from the fire and two lamps that hadn't been there when I'd left this morning. He must've bought more than groceries while he'd been out.

I grinned and walked closer to examine them.

They were red to match the wall, with a cream lampshade. It blended nicely with the dark furniture and mahogany side tables. Not that it came as a surprise, but he'd been right when he said that lamps would add a different feel to the room. They certainly did.

James was already in the kitchen, prepping the food. He retrieved a baking pan from the bottom cabinet before coating it in non-stick spray.

As his attention was elsewhere, I watched him.

Every move he made was with purpose and grace. If I wasn't careful, I could spend hours studying every part of him-the way his brunet hair curtained his face a bit when he looked down, the way his brow wrinkled with concentration, and the delicate movement of his hands as he worked.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me all night?" He asked, peeking up at me with a sly smirk. "Or are you gonna come and help?"

My face heated, and I walked under the arched entrance way into the kitchen. "I wasn't staring at you." I lied. "I was looking at the new lamps."

"Do you like them?" After placing seasoned chicken breasts in the pan, he went over to the sink and washed his hands. "I know I should have waited for you to be with me before I went looking, but it was spontaneous. I passed the shop on my way to the grocery store and saw there was a sale going on, so I bought them on a whim."

He never could resist a good bargain.

"They're great. Don't worry your pretty head about it." I joined him behind the counter and looked around. "Okay, what do I do first?"

He smiled and lightly bumped my shoulder with his before handing me the peeler, along with a small bag of baby red potatoes.

As I peeled potatoes, he stuck the chicken in the oven and washed off the green beans before plopping them in a skillet with a little oil. Once the potatoes were peeled, he showed me the best way to chop them, and then I dropped them on a baking pan and put in the oven with the chicken.

He told me more about his day, and I told him about mine.

Conversation flowed easily. Natural. The detachment he'd had over the weekend was absent from him as he talked and occasionally giggled at something stupid I said. I found myself forgetting about the wish I'd made because it felt so much like old times, when things had been amazing between us.

At least until I opened my damn mouth.

"So, what happened with your ex?" I asked after we'd sat at the table and had eaten most of our food.

He stilled and focused on his glass of white wine. I was about to apologize, when he puffed out a breath of air and snatched the glass, taking a big drink. Afterward, he shifted his gaze to me.

"Other than dumping me, he broke my heart." He answered in a sneering tone, one that didn't fit his sweet, bubbly personality. "I trusted him and put everything into our relationship. Went out of my way to make him happy… and he fucked some girl in our bed. So, there's that."

"Fuck…"

"Tell me about it." He gave me a _duh_ expression before draining the rest of his wine. "Before I could end things with him, _he_ dumped _me_ and said things weren't working out."

Without him needed to ask, I grabbed the bottle and refilled his glass. "Sounds to me like you're better off without that prick."

"Deep down, I know that." He said before shaking his head. "But the fucked up part about it is that despite what he did, I _still_ care about him."

I wasn't sure what to say to that, so we just sat in silence. Until he spoke up again, that is.

"It's just a curse of mine, I think." He said, hesitantly looking at me. "I fall in love too easily and care too much and end up getting hurt because of it. Then I don't know how to let go. My love life is comical at best."

"What about your sex life?" I asked.

He answered with a humorless laugh. "What sex life? Sure, Beau and I had sex, but since the breakup, I hadn't even thought of it." Hazel eyes moved to me, and the amount of heat reflecting through them caused my dick to swell. "Until recently anyway."

Before I could convince myself how bad of an idea it was, I stood and reached him in just two steps. Before I made a move, he flew out of his chair and crushed his mouth to mine, meeting me in a mind-blowing kiss.

I stumbled back a bit by the force of him, but after regaining my balance, I devoured his lips. Tangling one hand in his hair, I used the other to hold his lower back. He tasted sweet from the wine, and I pushed my tongue in his mouth, swirling it against his.

James moaned and wrapped his arms around my waist, tugging me closer.

My body was on fire and I knew the only way to quench the flames was by sinking into him-tasting every inch of him.

He gripped my ass and pulled me with him as he walked backward, out of the kitchen and into the living room. Our lips moved in sync as we went, and when he bumped into the side table, nearly knocking over the brand new lamp, we chuckled against each other.

It was clumsy, but fucking incredible.

Once he was by the couch, I broke our lip lock just long enough to push him back on the cushions. He gave me a lopsided grin before I climbed on top of him, rejoining our lips in a toe-curling kiss.

With each thrusting of my tongue, I felt him becoming more eager, and his dick hardened, poking into me. I groaned as he grinded his body up into mine and moved from my mouth to nip my jaw.

It was the first time I'd felt completely whole since I woke up in this crazy reality.

He glided his hand up the back of my shirt before pulling it over my head.

I smirked and grabbed the hem of his, resting back a little as I smoothed my hands up his stomach and to his chest, taking the shirt with me and watching his face as I did.

He was biting his damn lip again, and it only made me harder.

Moving down his body, I placed kisses on his warm skin, peering up at him as I sunk lower. He watched me with a creased brow and dug his fingers into my hair, gently pushing me to where he wanted me to go.

After discarding his pants, I gripped his dick and ever so slowly gilded it between my lips.

"Oh my god." He said as his hands threaded in my hair.

Giving him what I knew he wanted, I cupped his balls as I continued sucking him off, going from languorous licks to quick flicks of my tongue.

"Dammit, Jay, you're amazing." I murmured before licking from the tip to his base.

My dick pressed against my jeans, a damn uncomfortable feeling, so I shucked off my pants and palmed my length as I continued sucking James.

When I brushed a finger across his entrance, he shuddered. I moved from his dick to his ass, kissing his hole before lapping at it.

"I've never had this done before." He said on a gasp before breaking off into a moan as my hand found his dick and gave him a slow pull.

His words satisfied that somewhat jealous streak in me. In our old life, I had been the first one to rim him, too, and he'd fucking loved it.

"Just wait." I said, looking up at him.

"For what-ah!"

I'd thrust my tongue inside him, fucking him with it. My hand worked his dick as my mouth worked his ass. But I knew that wouldn't be enough to fully open him, so I used my other hand to slip a finger inside. One turned to two, and once he started quivering, I stopped, not wanting him to come yet.

"Come here." He said, breathless.

Obeying him, I moved up his body and capturing his lips.

When I started grinding on him, sliding my dick against his, he tore his mouth from mine and said in a sexy, raspy voice, "Please tell me you have condoms."

I was about to answer, when I hesitated, not sure if I did.

When I'd woken up after the wish, I'd been in bed with Jett… so they must be around somewhere.

"Be right back." I nuzzled my head to his before getting off the couch and jogging into my bedroom.

Opening the drawer beside my bed, I saw a brand new box of condoms, plus one that had over half missing, and several bottles of lube.

 _What the fuck?_

I must have been a major playboy in this life...and I didn't like it. The only man that mattered was the one currently on my couch, naked and needy.

After grabbing a condom and the bottle of lube, I went back in the living room. James was lying on his back, staring at me with a sly grin as he stroked his hard cock.

I nearly dropped the lube. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. He wasn't normally so confident with sex.

I reclaimed my spot on top of him, kissing his lips, neck, and collarbone.

He moaned and gripped my back, exposing his throat. I placed a soft kiss to the side of his neck before grazing my teeth along his sensitive skin. When I gently bit down, he gasped and clung onto me tighter.

"Kendall…" He said, panting, becoming restless beneath me. "I need you."

Every part of me wanted to oblige… well, _almost_ every part. My brain halted my advances.

James had just gotten out of a relationship and was emotionally fragile. But he'd also never been the type of guy to randomly hook-up. He was kind of demisexual. Meaning he didn't experience sexual attraction unless he felt close to the person. One night stands and hookups weren't his thing.

"James… are you _sure_ this is okay?" I asked, caressing his cheek with my thumb as I looked down at him. "If not, we don't have to-"

"Kendall?" He interrupted. "What I want is for you to fuck me like I've never been fucked. Can you do that?"

Words failed me, but luckily my body didn't.

Seizing his lips, I kissed him hard, mimicking with my tongue what I was about to do to his ass. His moans encouraged me, and I deepened the kiss, going more for passion than raunchy.

His hands squeezed my arms before trailing to my back, gripping my shoulders.

After I put on the rubber, I slowly pushed into him. As his heat engulfed me, I groaned deep in my throat and hung my head to rest in the crease of his neck.

He winced before kissing my temple and egging me on with the tugging of my hips. But his discomfort turned to pleasure as his body further welcomed me.

"More." He whimpered, clawing at my back as I moved inside him.

Thrusting harder, I went deeper. I was so fucking worked up that I could've fucked him like a wild man into the cushions, but I knew how James liked it, and crazy, rough sex wasn't it. He loved passion and tenderness.

"Harder." He begged, squeezing my ass cheeks and pulling me forward.

His request stunned me. "Really?"

Chuckling, he looked up at me. "Dammit, Kendall. Fuck me like you mean it."

Not sure where this side of him came from but not questioning it, I did as he said, groaning at how amazing he felt. I quickened the pace and gave him shallow thrusts, fucking him into the couch. He whimpered in my ear, and the sound went straight to my dick, making me harder than I think I'd ever been.

"Fuck, Jay." I moaned and buried my face in his neck again, driving my hips into him and feeling myself creep closer to the edge.

I reached between us to grab his dick, stroking him in rhythm to my thrusts.

"Mm, right _there_." He said, throwing his head back and revealing his sexy as fuck Adam's apple. And then he came apart beneath me. "Kendall! Oh my god. Don't stop."

His dick quivered before I felt hot come coat my palm. I jerked him faster as I pounded into his ass. A tingling went down my spine and the ache grew heavier as I reached that peak of orgasm.

When I came, I shouted and buried my face in the area between his neck and his shoulder. He held me as I shuddered into him. Once I was spent, I pulled out, discarded the condom, and tugged him against my chest.

James kissed my collarbone, working his way up my throat to my lips.

I returned the kiss, relishing in the sensations going through my body. And not just physically, but emotionally as well. He was everything to me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life pleasing him.

We fell asleep that way-with one of my arms under his head and the other draped around his midsection. It was the best night's sleep I'd had in weeks.

* * *

 **Done! So, it seems like things are heating up a bit between Kames!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed this! I loved hearing your thoughts on last chapter. :) I'm not sure when the next chapter will up, but it shouldn't be too long of a wait for it.**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again everyone! It's time for another chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to thank Guest, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and winterschild11 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Two days later, it was December twentieth.

Only four days left until Christmas Eve, but I no longer worried about it. James and I had become close so fast, and I was happy.

Ever since the night we'd had sex, we'd done it several more times, and each instance had been mind-blowing. Perfect.

When we weren't having sex, we were talking, and it was no longer just small talk.

He told me more about his ex-boyfriend, Beau, and even explained how they met.

A friend of a friend had set them up, and James thought it'd been fate. He'd never met a guy like Beau before-one so charming, handsome, and attentive-and James had quickly fallen for him. After only three months of dating, James had moved in with him.

Beau was also bisexual, and James hadn't had a problem with that. He believed love was love, and it didn't matter. Beau, however, was a lowlife, cheating bastard and had cheated on James with a girl Beau worked with. Being bisexual had nothing to do with that, of course. He was just an asshole.

I understood James' devastation, even though I couldn't fully relate. Being betrayed in such a way by someone you loved had to leave a permanent scar on your heart. That's why I knew I never would've cheated on James in the past, even during the times when we'd been fighting.

Yeah, the thought had crossed my mind _one_ time, but it had been more out of spite than desire, and I would've never gone through with it.

Most of our conversations concerning James' past romances were done as we sat by the fire, drinking wine. No better way to recall past heartbreaks.

My dating history in this version of reality was a blur, so when he asked me questions, I'd told him what I remembered from my old life, leaving out the part with him.

"So, you've never been in love?" He asked once we were on our second glass of wine.

"Nope." I lied before taking a drink. "I'm not opposed to love or anything like that. If I find the one, I won't ever let him go."

He smiled and focused on the fireplace. "I've loved a few guys, but I honestly don't think I've ever been _in_ love, either."

"Do you believe he's out there?" I asked, not taking my eyes off him.

His hair was styled with a small amount of gel, causing the front to part to the side in a stylish flip, and the green sweater he wore perfectly complimented his eyes. The faint smell of lavender lingered in the air from where we'd placed one of those scented wall plug-ins.

"Maybe." James answered, moving his gaze back to me. "It's kind of depressing if you think about it too much. Out of all the people in the world, there's only _one_ that will set your heart on fire. The chance of finding him is so slim, don't you think?"

"Not really." I said before pondering my next words. "Call it destiny or just dumb luck, but I think two hearts that belong together will always find a way. Maybe it's like magnets. We each have someone we belong to, and when we're around that person, the pull is strong, as if giving us a sign that we're meant to be together."

James' eyes shone with curiosity. "For a guy who claims he's never loved someone, you sure seem to understand it pretty well."

I shrugged and looked down at my lap. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He answered, but his tone was cautious.

Lifting my gaze back to him, I asked, "Why did you change your mind? About me."

"I didn't change my mind." He said as his forehead creased. "I still don't want to date. Not yet, at least. I'm just not ready. The wound's still fresh and I just… I don't know. But you make me feel safe. Special. It's hard to explain."

"Try?"

James sighed before taking a drink, as if needed the liquid courage. His eyes met mine. "When I'm with you, I feel like I've known you my whole life, Kendall. Your eyes watch me like I'm some rare gem, and when you touch me, you're both gentle and firm, as if you're afraid to break me, but also afraid of letting go."

"You _are_ rare, Jay. There's not another guy like you out there."

He scoffed, but his cheeks darkened. "You barely know me."

"Time doesn't matter." I said, feeling a weight in my chest. There was no way to describe the depth of my feelings without scaring him off. "I knew you were different from the very first moment I saw you."

Silence followed my words. He fixated on the fire and seemed so far away. I ached to touch him, but I doubted that'd be a good move, so I kept to myself.

"So, you have the office Christmas party Friday?" He asked after a while, looking back at me.

"Yep." I answered, a little disappointed that he'd changed the topic. "Do you want to go with me? You could scope out the place while you're there."

"Are you asking me to be your date, Mr. Knight?" He asked in an amused tone.

I was happy to see the humor back on his face instead of the solemn expression he'd had not even five minutes ago.

"If that's what you want to call it...sure." I said, grinning.

The night passed too quickly. When James started yawning around eleven, I picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. He grinned and kissed my neck as I walked with him in my arms, and when I laid him on the bed, he pouted his lip at the separating.

"You're too damn cute, you know that?"

"Then get over here and show me just how cute I am." He practically purred.

He didn't have to ask me twice. I took off my clothes before joining him in bed.

XxX

I woke up in the middle of the night, wide awake and restless. My eyes adjusted to the dark room, and I looked over to see James still sound asleep beside me. He looked like an angel as he slept, and I gently brushed his bangs from his face so I could see him better.

His long lashes right down to his deliciously plump bottom lip and clean-shaven jaw made him my favorite sight in the world.

Flawless. Inside and out.

Love swarmed in my chest, and I leaned down to place a kiss to his temple before quietly getting out of bed, careful not to wake him. Finding my pants where I'd chucked them on the floor, I slid them on before walking into the living room.

Something felt off.

The hairs on my nape rose, and I surveyed the room, wondering what the hell was going on.

That's when I heard it. It was soft, but perceptible, in the quiet room.

 _No fucking way._

Hesitantly, I approached the clock on the mantel. Sure enough, the second hand was moving. The hour hand was on seven. My confusion intensified.

"You're running out of time, Kendall."

I nearly screamed at the voice and flipped around to see Nick standing behind the couch.

He was in his usual attire, but instead of the jolly expression, I was greeted with sad eyes and a downturned mouth.

"I'm fully aware of what day it is." I said in a harsh whisper, walking closer to him.

THe last thing I wanted was for James to hear me talking to someone and come in here to investigate.

Nick walked toward the Christmas tree, and it flickered on. He examined it, and as he did, the lights reflected in his glasses, making his eyes sparkle. "What a fine tree. Amazing what some tender love and care can do. And patience."

"You're losing me, Nick." I rubbed my eyes before looking back at him, shaking my head. "What's going on? Why are you here?"

"To remind you of the deadline." He said, studying me with kind eyes.

"Yeah. Okay. Well, I already know about it, so you can leave. I have it handled." I didn't mean to snap at him, but it seemed like every time he randomly popped up in my apartment, bad news followed. "James and I are doing great."

"I see that." Nick said, nodding. "But time is running out, nonetheless. You do not yet have his heart."

"You know what? It doesn't matter." I said, walking to the window and looking outside, crossing my arms. "If I don't win him over in four days, it doesn't change the present. We're on the right path, so I know he'll love me eventually. And honestly, what's so bad about staying in this life?" I focused on Nick. "At least in this life, I have my dream job _and_ James. Only an idiot would be in a rush to give that up. So, can you please take your demon clock and leave me alone? I'm happy."

The look he gave me sent a chill down my spine.

"Kendall… I'm afraid there is something I've failed to mention." At my inquisitive stare, he continued. "If you don't reverse the wish by the deadline, your memories of your old life will disappear."

My face paled. "What?"

"You will stay in this life as Kendall Knight, the director of marketing, and you will forget about your old self. A man cannot live two lives, thus is the reason you will fully belong to this one."

"But I'll still have James?" I asked with my heart in my throat.

Nick nodded, but his somber expression did nothing to reassure me. "All of your memories of James will disappear, Kendall. All the things about him that made you fall in love in your old life. You will be as you are right now, yes, but the memories of James that are the driving force for your pursuit of him will be gone."

The corners of my eyes stung.

"So, you're saying that...I won't be me. I might not want him anymore." I stated, feeling sick to my stomach. "That the memories keeping me holding onto him will disappear and my desire for him along with them?"

"I cannot predict the future." He answered before focusing on a red ornament with Santa Claus' face on it. "That is not to say you won't still want him, but your feelings will not be as they are in this moment. When you look at him after the wish is complete, you will not see James, the man you love. You will see James, the decorator you met weeks ago. You will remember the things you did with him, but not the true reason behind them."

I could barely hear him from the blood coursing through my veins and rushing in my ears. My pulse accelerated, as did the frantic beating of my heart. I started shaking and had to sit on the edge of the couch, rubbing my sweaty palms on my pant legs.

I was having a damn panic attack. Or close to one, anyway.

"Why is the clock ticking?" I managed to ask, trying to distract my mind.

"As a reminder." Nick said. "The hour hand will count days, not hours. When it reaches eleven, the minute hand will count down the hours. When it reaches eleven fifty-five that night, your wish will be complete."

"And I'll forget him." I said as I covered my face with hands, fighting back tears.

When I didn't receive a response, I looked up. Nick was gone.

But the clock still ticked, counting down the days until I lost James forever.

XxX

"Are you sure I look okay?" James asked, adjusting his bowtie as we walked toward my car.

He liked to be different. Instead of wearing a tie for formal attire, he went for a plum colored bowtie, button-up shirt, and plum dress pants. It was both casual and formal. He had a gray jacket on over the shirt.

"You look incredible." I answered, unlocking the car.

Once we were both inside, I turned to him in the seat. His hazel eyes were alive with both nerves and excitement, and he watched me as I leaned closer.

Our lips touched, and he smiled against my mouth.

It was those little moments when I loved him more and more, the unspoken ones that showed his character. The bashful, sexy man who meant more to me than anything in the world.

"It's just the office Christmas party." I said, pulling away and starting the car.

"Yeah, but your boss will be there."

I backed out of the space and drove through the parking garage, heading toward the exit.

"Trying to impress my boss, huh?" My voice was teasing. "Hate to break it to you, Jay, but he's not into dudes. Sorry."

James giggled before playfully slapping my arm. "You ass."

"Nah, I think _you're_ the ass in this equation." That earned me another giggle, plus a snort, and I smirked. We flipped pretty often, so that wasn't entirely true. "Honestly, though, don't worry about it. You already have the job. This is just a dumb party where everyone will probably get drunk and not remember anyway."

"Good point." He said, leaning back on the headrest and looking out the window. "I hope there's food."

I grinned and focused on the road.

The past two days had flown by way too fast. After the news Nick had shared late Wednesday night, my stomach had been in knots, and sometimes when James did something that brought back our old memories, I'd had to force myself not to breakdown.

I feared the unknown. Losing myself and having my memories stripped seemed less like a wish come true and more like a damn curse.

Hope was not lost, though.

James had begun trusting me more, and we acted so much like the couple we used to be. No, we didn't call it dating-we didn't call it anything-but the feelings were there, clear in every touch and each kiss. When we weren't having sex or making out, we were talking.

I'd laughed more in the past week than I had in the past two months, and I found myself more in love with him than I'd ever been.

When we sat on the couch, he cuddled against my side and rested his head on my chest instead of keeping a distance. When we ate dinner, he'd moved his foot against mine under the table.

Like magnets, we seemed to constantly be drawn together.

The sun had already set and Christmas lights could be seen coming from every part of town. Houses, stores, and the park that had a huge Christmas display each year. Icicle lights hung from lamp posts and trees twinkled from store windows. A lot of the snow had melted-only visible now in certain areas of untouched grass-but it was still cold.

More snow was in the forecast, but I didn't have to watch the weather channel to know such a thing. I'd already liked this week in the other life and knew the snow would arrive in two days time on Christmas Eve.

The parking garage was packed when we arrived, as it always was.

Gustavo invited basically everyone worth knowing to these kinds of parties. Law firms, business owners, old clients and prospective new ones. It was a tactical business move. Make them feel special, so they'd be more inclined to make future deals. And it was never a bad thing to have the best law firms on your side, either.

James checked his appearance in the mirror before puffing out a breath. "Okay, let's do this."

We got out of the car, and I grabbed his hand as we headed toward the elevator. He glanced at me, and I thought he was going to let go, but he squeezed my hand and continued walking.

Once in the elevator, I hit the button for the floor, and then pushed James against the wall, kissing him.

He let out a small gasp before returning the kiss, moaning and gripping my suit jacket, drawing me closer.

When the elevator dinged, I pulled away and faced the doors. James panted beside me, and I failed at hiding my satisfied grin.

"I've always wanted to make out in an elevator." I said as we exited and moved into the lobby.

"Glad I could be of service." He broke out into a shy smile before looking away. "Wow, there's a lot of people here."

I knew once he met some of them and started talking, he'd be fine. James was what I called an introverted extrovert. He was shy until the ice was broken with someone, and then he was fun-loving and outgoing.

Jett caught my eye from across the room and made his way over through the crowd of people, holding a plate of cookies.

"Hey, boss." He greeted once he was in front of us. He then looked beside me and stuck out his hand, which James accepted. "Hi, I'm Jett, Kendall's personal assistant. You must be the famous James. He never shuts up about you, you know."

My face heated.

"Oh yeah?" James smiled at me before returning his gaze to the evil bastard. "What does he say?"

"I need a drink." I said before looking for the table with all the booze. Well, more like expensive champagne and wine, but it'd have to suffice.

"Sometimes he says that, actually." Jett answered before laughing.

James bumped my shoulder and shot me a smirk. "Sounds like him."

Logan approached, slipping an arm around Jett's waist, and nodded to me with a smile. "Good evening, Mr. Knight."

I couldn't help but smile at him. Confidence rang through him, more so than it had when he'd come into my office that one day to get my opinion on the commercial.

"Nice to see you again, Logan." I greeted, touching the small of James' back. "This is my boyf-uh, my friend, James. He's an interior designer and will be decorating the office after Christmas."

James regarded me curiously before shaking Logan's hand.

They began talking about design, and I was relieved to see him relaxing more. Since Logan was on the creative team, he had some ideas about color schemes and threw them around with James, who was right at home with the subject and gave his opinion freely.

We worked our way around the room, and I said hello to my superiors, as well as some clients I'd had the privilege to help with their advertising.

The owner of Duncan's Toys thanked me for the work I'd put into his commercial, saying that the toys showcased in the ad had been flying off the shelves. His store had to compete with the big name toy companies, so he was grateful for an advertisement that got his store more publicity.

Peter, the owner of Brew Emporium-the coffeehouse we'd made the Santa commercial for-clapped a hand on my back and introduced me to his wife.

James stayed at my side as I moved throughout the room, and more than once, he was pulled into conversations.

Women seemed to love him. They stopped him as we passed and commented on his outfit, and one of them even gave him her business card, requesting a consultation to design her new dance studio.

When Gustavo approached, James straightened his stance and his nerves were back full force.

"Kendall." Gustavo grabbed my hand and shook it. "Just the man I was looking for. Who's this?"

"Hello, Mr. Rocque." James said after clearing his throat. "I'm James Diamond of Jay Designs."

"Ah, yes." Gustavo said, shaking his hand. "Kendall tells me you're one of the best, and if he says it, it must be true. He's known as the cobra around here and won't hesitate to tell you his honest to God opinion. I'm eager to see your vision for the office."

"I'm eager as well, sir." James answered. Once Gustavo's attention was elsewhere, he grinned and lightly nudged me. "Cobra, huh?"

"Shut up." I said, trying to keep a straight face but failing.

Gustavo turned back to me. "I have some business I'd like to discuss with you, Kendall, if you don't mind."

Confused, I nodded to him before pulling James closer and whispering in his ear. "Will you be okay if I step away for a few?"

"Of course." He said, giving me an encouraging smile. "I'll be at the buffet table devouring all the shrimp."

I grinned before following Gustavo, not sure what he needed to discuss.

Was I getting fired? Demoted?

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, Kendall." Gustavo said once we'd walked away from the crowd into a more secluded area. "When work resumes after Christmas, there's going to be some changes around here. Big changes."

As I listened, I tried not to let my worry show. I had one damn good poker face, so I put it to good use.

"What I'm saying is," He continued. "You won't be returning to your office in the New Year." Before I could react, he opened the door to his office and stepped inside. "Because you'll have a new one."

Gawking at him, I didn't know what to say. I followed him inside and moved my gaze throughout the room. After several seconds of stunned silence, I finally found my voice. "But this is the Vice President's office."

Gustavo pointed at me. "Correct. And _you_ are the new VP of Marketing, Kendall, if you want it. Not only can you appeal to the younger generation, but your ideas are fresh and exciting to the old as well. With your dedication to Rocque Inc. the past seven years, I can say you are without a doubt the greatest asset to this company, and I'd love for you to accept this promotion."

"I'd be honored." I answered, wondering if this was a dream. My heartbeat sped up, and my stomach did little flips.

"We'll settle the finer details of it when we come back from Christmas, but it's great to have you on this team, Mr. Knight, my new Vice President." He clapped me on the back. "Now, let's return to the party."

* * *

 **Done! So, yeah, it looks like things took a bit of a turn this chapter.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter should be up around Wednesday, so you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter. :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with another new chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, winterschild11, Guest, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James and I left the party around eleven that night.

He'd been having fun, which was why I'd stayed so long. I had wanted to leave and spend every moment just with him, taking advantage of the time we had left, but I hadn't said anything and instead just let him enjoy himself.

When we got back to the apartment, I jerked my tie to take it off and went to the room to change. He followed. As I faced the closet, shrugging out of my suit, he approached me from behind and kissed my nape.

I tilted my head back against him and exhaled, loving the feel of his hands as they snaked around my waist and tugged my hips backward. His erection poked my ass, as I softly sighed, backing more into him.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he gently thrust his hips forward again, hitting in all the right places.

"You got a job promotion." He answered in between placing kisses on my neck. "We should celebrate."

I preferred topping, but I bottomed sometimes. James was versatile, too, with a preference for bottoming. Which was why we were fucking perfect for each other. During his stay at my apartment, we'd had sex a lot-sometimes multiple times a day-and he'd topped me a few times.

 _Seems like he wants to again,_ I thought to myself as a smile crept to my face. _Good, because I want to let loose and give him total control._

I faced him and pressed my mouth to his. Softly.

He returned the kiss as his hands explored my sides, playing with the clothing separating us. His tongue danced with mine, and we moved across the room to the bed.

Once we were on the mattress, we shed the rest of our clothes and came back together in another gentle kiss before deepening it.

I moaned against him as he took hold of my dick and started pumping me.

After he prepped me, put on a condom, and used some lube, he slowly entered me.

Goddammit, it stung like a bitch at first, and I clenched my jaw as I breathed through it and worked on relaxing. But then he broke past the tight barrier, and I groaned at the euphoria.

"God, Kendall." He said on a gasp. "You're so tight."

On my hands and knees, I reached behind me and gripped his ass, tugging him harder. With each forward motion, he hit that sweet spot, and I nearly came undone, but I held off, wanting to savor it. As he pumped into me, gradually increasing his speed, I leaned back and wrapped an arm around his head, capturing his mouth.

He kissed me as he moved in and out of my body, bringing both of us closer to the edge.

And when we fell over, we did so together.

Afterward, we lay in bed, coming down from our high. He was in his favorite spot on my chest, and I had an arm around him, pressing my lips to his forehead.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but he wouldn't understand them if I did-that I loved him and was so sorry for taking him for granted in the past. That I'd never let him go again.

When his breathing slowed, I held him closer and ran my fingers through his hair. My eyes were heavy, but I didn't want to go to sleep. I only wanted to hold him to my chest and pretend everything was okay.

Tomorrow was one day closer to the deadline, and I wasn't ready.

XxX

 _Christmas Eve_

Waking up that morning was bittersweet.

Sweet, because James was beside me. Bitter, because it was the final day.

At five 'til midnight, my wish would come to a full circle… unless I could get James to say he loved me.

I'd like to believe it was possible. Nick had said that wishes around Christmas were the strongest because it was a magical time of year. Surely that included love, too, especially between people who were meant to be together.

Love at first sight might not be real, but perhaps time was of no consequence with the heart. James and I'd had two amazing weeks together, seeing each other every day-sometimes staying up into the early hours of the morning just discussing life. We talked about our pasts and dreams for the future.

In only two weeks, I was more in love with him than I'd ever been, knowing him on a whole new level.

James was still asleep, and I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. His warm body made it difficult getting out of bed, but I managed it. I wanted to start a pot of coffee and cook him breakfast before he woke up.

As I left the bedroom and walking into the living room, I headed for the Christmas tree to plug it in before going into the kitchen.

James had so many traditions, and Christmas Eve was one of his favorite days of the year. I was going to make it special. The day would be dedicated to him, doing all the things he loved. Things I had dismissed and called silly in the old life because I'd been too preoccupied with my own selfishness.

After starting the coffee, I grabbed a skillet and began cooking bacon. It sizzled as I placed it down, and when the smell wafted upward, my stomach growled.

I might not be a great cook, but I knew how to make the basics at least. Whether I burned it or not… well, that was to be determined. Cutting vegetables under James' supervision? I rocked. Cooking shouldn't be _too_ difficult.

 _Let's just hope I don't burn the apartment down._

Once the bacon was done, I put it on a plate and set aside before grabbing the carton of eggs, cracking and whisking a few before pouring them into the skillet.

Just as I was finishing up and switching off the stove, James walked out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes in a fucking adorable way and yawning.

"I smell food." He said in a gravelly voice.

"I made you breakfast." I said, carrying our plates to the table. "Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast."

His eyes widened as he sat down, nodding appreciatively at his overflowing plate. "Wow. This is super sweet. Thank you."

When his eyes met mine, a lump wedged in my throat. He was too beautiful. And when he smiled, my heart thumped harder in my chest.

"Oh! Coffee." I said before I jumped up and went over to the cabinet to grab two mugs. After filling them, I poured some cream in each cup before adding sugar. I set his in front of him. "Here you go. I hope you like the food."

It looked edible, at least.

James grinned before biting off a piece of bacon. His moans as he chewed filled me with satisfaction-not to mention made me fucking hard-and I dug in to my food, too.

As we ate, we didn't say much, but it wasn't a bad thing.

We enjoyed our breakfast in silence, which was how we both liked it sometimes, at least until the coffee kicked in.

James read on his tablet, and I scrolled through my phone. Once the food was gone, and we'd had enough coffee to allow for conversation, I looked up at him.

"Do you have anything planned for today?" I asked, setting my almost empty cup on the table. "Because I thought we could do some things."

"Like what?"

"Well, there's a Christmas parade at noon, so we can go to that." I said, seeing his eyes light up at the suggestion. "And then we can grab lunch at Hannah's. Maybe go walking through the park after that to see the decorations. Carolers should be out this afternoon, so we can listen to them for a bit before coming home and cooking dinner."

"You've really thought this out." He said as a smile touched his lips.

"Yep. And after dinner, we can watch Christmas movies." I added, wiggling my brows.

He chuckled. "Sounds like the perfect day."

James insisted on helping me clean up the kitchen. I washed off the plates and put them in the dishwasher as he wiped down the stovetop and counters. Cleaning was finished in no time, so we began getting ready.

When he got into the shower, I stepped in with him, which lead to us heavily making out as water poured down on us.

Fuck, it was hot.

I grabbed his arms and put them over his head, pushing him against the wall, and crushed my mouth to his. He thrust his hips forward, causing his erection to slide against mine. I groaned against his lips and rolled my body forward, seeking more friction.

As we continued kissing, I reached down and took hold of both our dicks, stroking us simultaneously.

"Kendall…" James whimpered and leaned his head back against the wall. "That feels incredible."

I kissed the edge of his jaw before grazing my teeth farther over and sucking his earlobe. He gasped and tangled his hands in my hair. His dick jerked in my hand, and I sped up my pace. He came, and his release covered my palm, adding more lubrication for us.

"Fuck!" Pleasure rippled through me, and I shuddered. "I'm gonna come."

James sucked at the base of my throat, and that did it. As my orgasm rocked into me, I nuzzled my head to his and moaned.

Sex with him had always been amazing, but this had been different. It just felt passionate and so fucking intimate. More than usual, anyway.

When the quivers subsided, I raised my head and regarded him. His eyelids we droopy, giving him that sleepy expression, and I pressed my lips to his.

No amount of time with him would ever be enough, and knowing this could be my last day with him nearly killed me.

I pulled back and studied his face-the softness of his lips, the angle of his jaw, and his long eyelashes. His eyes met mine as I caressed his cheek, and my heart felt like it was about to break.

"We need to stop, otherwise we'll never make it to the parade." He said before gently kissing me again.

"Okay. If you insist." I said in a joking tone, but a pain slashed through my chest.

After quickly washing my body, I kissed him before getting out of the shower. Back in the bedroom, my gaze landed on the time, and the unease increased. Eleven in the morning. Just a little over twelve hours left.

 _Believe_ , I told myself.

And somehow, the word made me feel a little better. More hopeful.

XxX

A massive crowd gathered for the parade.

Our town was known for its celebration of Christmas. From the decorations in the park to the parade, and the crafters that traveled from other areas to set up shop for the season. The spirit of Christmas was strong all throughout the town.

James had always said there was no place he'd rather live than in Duluth. I used to roll my eyes when he said that-thinking he was content with just settling-but I saw everything different now, as if a veil had shrouded my vision all these years and now it was lifted, allowing me to see the beauty with fresh eyes.

We'd snagged a spot right at the front, giving us a great view of everything in the parade.

"Oh, look." James said, a smile gracing his face as he pointed to a float coming down Main Street. "It's the Grinch."

How the Grinch Stole Christmas was one of James' favorite Christmas movies and was one he watched every holiday season. He loved the message of the story, and the scene talking about Christmas not coming from stores always made him cry.

His tender heart was one of the things that had made me first fall in love with him, but like the Grinch, I had let meaningless things get in the way of what truly mattered.

I smiled at his excitement and put an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to my side.

He was wearing a purple knit sweater with a bigger coat over it, and his hair stuck out from the bottom of his beanie in the way I loved.

At my touch, he beamed at me before resting his head where my shoulder and neck met. His gaze was fixated on the street, but he cuddled into me, wrapping his arm around me too.

I held him as the parade continued, occasionally kissing the area behind his ear.

After the Grinch float, there was a high school marching band that passed, playing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. A man dressed as Santa Claus walked by after that, waving at all the children and throwing out candy canes.

I raked a gaze over him, relieved when I saw he wasn't Nick. My theory about him being Santa was far-fetched, but reality had already been suspended.

 _I'm pretty sure nothing can surprise me at this point._

Once the parade ended, James and I moved at a leisurely pace down the sidewalk, hand in hand. We wore gloves, but I could still feel the warmth of him.

He was like my personal ray of sunshine, as corny as that sounded. Just one smile from him could brighten my day, and one touch could wash away my worries. If only he could do that now, but his touch had the opposite effect that day.

With each touch, I feared it'd be the last.

I tried to convince myself that it wasn't the end of the world if midnight arrived and he hadn't said he loved me. We were soulmates and I hoped we'd find a way to be together… but I didn't want to lose my memories of him. And what if without my memories of our life together, I'd revert back to my old self, the one Jett had called an asshole, and James wouldn't want me.

When he let go of my hand, I snapped out of my thoughts.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. My phone buzzed." He stopped walking and took his phone out of his coat pocket, frowning as he looked at it.

It reminded me of one of the first days when he'd stayed with me, when he'd received a text that had visibly upset him. And I couldn't keep my mouth shut like before.

"Is it your shitty ex?" I asked with a snarl.

James' gaze darted to mine. "That obvious, huh?" He pocketed the phone and started walking again. I kept pace beside him, letting him answer when he was ready. "He's been texting me for the past couple of weeks."

"Does he want you back?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"I guess so." He said.

We walked for another minute. Maybe two. And my patience was wearing thin. "Do you want _him_ back?"

"Hell no." He answered, looking at me. "I changed my number after he kicked me out, but he got my new one from a recent client who's a friend of his. He's been texting me the basic 'Hey, what are you doing?' and all that crap." A laugh escaped him as he faced ahead. "One time when he texted that, I responded with 'my new roommate.' He sent back a massive text that was all bitchy, and I ignored it."

I grinned, feeling both relieved he wasn't interested in rekindling that old flame with his ex, but also a little disappointed that I was just _the roommate_.

"You hungry?" I asked, needing a change of subject.

"Starving." He answered. "A hot cocoa sounds amazing right about now."

We headed toward Hannah's across the street, and once we were inside and out of the bitter cold, we shrugged off our coats and sat down at a table near the window.

A fireplace crackled in the corner of the room, making the restaurant cozy and inviting, and Christmas music played softly through the speakers.

James ordered his usual burger and hot chocolate, while I ordered a soda and a huge bacon cheeseburger.

Thankfully, the subject of Beau never came back up, and we talked all through lunch.

James discussed how the floats in the parade all looked spectacular, and I told him that he should try to be included in the lineup next year to advertise his business. Other businesses had done it, so I thought it'd be a great idea. He agreed.

As we talked, it was almost easy to forget about the deadline hanging over my head. But one look at the clock on the wall put it all back into perspective.

Two in the afternoon. Less than ten hours left.

"Can we go to the park after this?" James asked with a hopeful smile.

"Of course." I answered, batting away the nerves in the pit of my stomach. "Anything you want."

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like the clock is quickly ticking.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Unfortunately, there are only about two chapter left of this story. The next one will be up sometime this weekend, so only a few days until that's up. :)**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter here!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The ending credits played for How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and James remained cuddled against me.

We'd already watched the old classic Christmas movies and the Grinch was the last one.

Dinner had been sweet potatoes and steak, and James had baked sugar cookies for dessert, which were now only crumbs on the plates on the table in front of us.

It was nearing ten p.m. and my eyes couldn't stop focusing on the clock above the fireplace. So many times, I'd had to fight the urge to smash the damn thing, but Nick had said it'd ruin my chance at ever going back to my old life if I did.

Pressing my lips into James' hair, I held him tighter, enjoying the moment as long as possible.

He turned his face and placed it against my neck before gently kissing my throat.

"I have an idea." He murmured, his breath tickling the side of my neck. He lifted his head and gave me a shy smile. "You'll probably think it's dumb, but I love to read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve. It's a tradition I started a few years ago."

Heaviness settled on my chest as memories of our past Christmas' flashed through my head.

The last Christmas Eve, I'd put on a Santa hat and had held the book in front of me, reading it aloud in a dramatic narrator voice, even acting out the expressions and actions throughout the story. James had laughed so hard, he'd snorted and spilled some of his drink on the rug.

"I don't think that's dumb." I said before kissing the top of his head and getting off the couch. He turned and watched as I walked to the kitchen, grabbed two glasses and the bottle of wine from the refrigerator, and returned. "Thought we could use some."

"You read my mind." He responded, taking one of the glasses.

I poured the wine before sitting back down. "I don't have the book, so I'm just gonna pull it up on my phone and read."

James grinned and leaned back on the couch, taking a drink.

After taking a sip, I set my glass on the coffee table and scrolled through my phone. Finding the story, I cleared my throat and winked at him.

His smile widened, and he snuggled more into the couch, waiting for me to start.

And then I re-enacted the last time I'd read it, deepening my voice and becoming overly dramatic with my movements.

By the time I'd finished, James had set his wine down because he was laughing too hard. His face was a darker shade from all the giggling and his hazel eyes glistened.

That's how I loved him most-when he was happy.

He stopped smiling when he looked at me, and his eyes searched my face. Worry creased his brow. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, stepping closer. "You're just beautiful."

I bent and kissed him then, wrapping my arms around his midsection and pulling him up. His mouth moved against mine in an unhurried way, as if he were savoring the taste of me like I was him. We grabbed at each other as our tongues danced, and we wound up in my bedroom.

I laid him on the bed, and he grazed his teeth over his bottom lip as he stared at me.

Neither of us said anything. Our expressions said enough.

I lay on top of him and kissed him deeper, trying to convey my feelings for him in the way my lips moved with his.

James arched his back and tilted his head back on the mattress, exposing his throat. Taking the hint, I kissed the side of his neck until I found his weak spot. His breathing quickened as his arms came around my back, holding me tighter.

"Mm, right there." He groaned.

Soon, on top of the clothes stuff wasn't enough. His dick pressed into my abdomen, and mine was so hard it hurt. He nipped at my throat in a sexually playful way, and I looked down at him, smiling.

"Is someone a little eager?"

"I need you, Kendall." He said in a seductive, breathy tone.

Claiming his mouth again, I slipped my fingers beneath the waistband of his pants and slid them down. When his cock bounced free, I palmed him, feeling my own arousal grow upon hearing every one of his whimpers.

It wasn't just the physical need driving me, though. It was him. All of him.

Everything about him mesmerized me. His warmth, his taste, and the soft moans escaping his lips. But more importantly, it was his heart that truly captivated me. His kindness was displayed in everything he did.

Tonight, I wasn't going to fuck James.

I was going to make love to him.

After taking off his clothes, I took my time prepping him, sucking him as I played with his ass with lube coated fingers.

His hands tangled in my hair, and he thrust upward into my mouth, whimpering as he inched closer to ecstasy.

And damn, I wanted him to come, but not yet.

Easing up the pressure of my mouth, I worked my pants off and started stroking myself. James was already so close, and I knew it wouldn't take many thrusts to send him over the edge, an edge I wanted to topple over with him.

When I withdrew my fingers from him, he whined. "God, Kendall. Don't stop." But then he gave me a lopsided grin. "You're killing me here."

I grabbed a condom from the top drawer and tore the wrapper open with my teeth before rolling it on. Before I could reach for the lube, James handed it to me. I chuckled at his eager expression and the way he wiggled his hips.

After drizzling some on his ass, I did the same to my dick before placing myself at his entrance. Slowly pushing into him, I clenched my jaw. His tightness and heat caused me to shudder.

With a groan, he threw his head back and raised his hips. The action made me sink more into him, and we both moaned. Once his body no longer fought me, I was able to move a little faster. But I knew how he preferred it. Slow and tender.

We'd never had sex that way in this new reality, and I wondered if anyone had ever treated him with that much care before. Maybe he didn't know how incredible it could feel yet.

As he attempted to speed it up, I gripped his hips and held him still. A protest was on his lips, but before he could voice it, I thrust into him again, going even deeper.

He gasped and kept his mouth open in a small O.

It was insanely sexy, and I drove my hips forward again, rocking into his tight heat. With each thrust, soft moans left him.

I cupped his cheek with one hand as I continued driving myself into him, staring into his expressive eyes and feeling a part of heart shatter.

His fingers dug into my sides as I gave him shallow thrusts, followed by slower, deeper ones. I knew he was close by how his body began to tense, so I moved my hand from his cheek to his dick, stroking him in the same rhythm as my thrusts.

"Come for me, Jay." I said before quickening my pace just a little.

As he came apart beneath me, tears sprang to my eyes. My love for him nearly crippled me in that moment. And knowing I could lose him in just an hour caused the tears to actually fall.

He shouted his pleasure and trembled around me.

Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his and continued driving into him, chasing my own high. He grabbed my ass and tugged me harder.

Warmth shot down my spine and into my groin, and I felt myself tense. Gliding in and out of his body, I couldn't hold back anymore, and I groaned as my orgasm slammed into me.

Pleasure like I'd never before experienced left me in waves, and I collapsed on top of James, trying to catch my breath.

He rubbed my back and rose up to place kisses along my jawline. It was intimate and earth-shattering.

"I love you, James." The words had slipped out before I could stop them, but once they were released, I was glad. When he stilled, I looked down into his confused face and gently took hold of his chin. "I do. I fucking love you, Jay."

In my head, I imagined how it would go. James would smile and confess his love for me, too, and then we'd be transported back to our old life. Everything would work out, and it'd be a Christmas miracle. I'd spend the rest of my existence loving him and showing him every single day that he was the most important part of my life.

However...that's not what happened.

"I have to go."

He slid out from under me and got off the bed. As he gathered his clothes, I stood and approached him.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked.

"Because this is too much, Kendall." He said, turning back to me. "There's no way you can love me. It's only been a few weeks."

He put on his boxers and pants before snatching his shirt from the floor and slipping it on over his head.

"You don't know that." I said as I tensed with worry. When he pinned me with a stare, I closed the distance between us and took his face in my hands. "You are everything I've always wanted, James. You're kind, funny, and so incredibly sexy. Time doesn't matter."

He stepped back, shaking his head. "You're mocking me. I told you that I fall in love too fast, and now you're pulling this after the best sex of my life."

"It was the best of mine, too." I reached for him again, but he moved out of the way. "Dammit, where are you going to go? It's snowing outside."

"I'm going back to my shop. I'll be fine." After putting a sweater on over his shirt, he turned to leave the bedroom. "Goodnight."

I chased after him.

"Don't! Please." I searched for the right words to say to make him change his mind. We were in the living room now, beside the fireplace where the damn clock ticked and reminded me of what I was about to lose. "Love is supposed to be scary, Jay. That's why they call it _falling_ in love. But although it's scary, it's exciting."

"This isn't love, Kendall." He said in a flat tone. "It's just sex."

"That's not true." I denied. "It was never just sex between us, and you know it. I know you do."

"It doesn't matter how I feel." His eyes welled with tears. "In the end, you'll just hurt me like every other guy has. I love but never get it back, and I'm tired of getting my heart broken by guys like you."

"Guys like me?"

He scoffed as he crossed his arms. "Guys who are way too attractive for me, crazy successful, and who can get anyone they want. You're all the same. Don't think I didn't see your drawer of goodies in your room, Kendall. All the sex toys, condoms, and lube. You're a player." He wiped at his eyes before averting his gaze. "It's been fun, but I can't do this anymore."

When he turned to start walking out the door, I ran after him and grabbed one of his arms, turning him around to face me.

"James, _please_. I'm not lying to you. You're all I want in this world." My voice shook as I spoke, and it felt like my heart was only being held together by a single thread. Desperation rang from every inch of me. "I know guys have hurt you in the past and shattered your ability to trust, but I'm not them. I love you."

His gaze held mine, and behind the doubt, I saw a flicker of hope.

But then it faded.

"I really wish I could believe you." He said, and his voice cracked on the last word. "I've never felt as happy as I am with you. You've made me laugh and feel things I never thought I'd feel. But I need more time, Kendall. This is way too fast. I just got out of a relationship, and I still haven't recovered from that wound. The last thing I need is to jump into another relationship so soon."

The clock his eleven thirty. Only twenty-five minutes left.

"Is there anything I can do to get you to stay with me?" I asked, cupping his face. Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared into his hazel eyes. "Please don't leave me."

 _I can't lose you. You're my heart._

"The best thing you can do right now is let me go." He said softly, stepping out of my hold. "My head is in a weird place. I'm sorry. I'll call you tomorrow, and maybe we can figure this out. But for right now… I just need to be alone and think."

He left, and I couldn't stop him.

I stood in the middle of the room, staring at where he'd once been. A sob left me, and I fell to my knees, burying my face in my hands.

 _Don't leave me, Jay._

XxX

Comparing my situation to dying was outlandish and a bit ridiculous, but it's what it felt like. In just a short amount of time, I would forget everything that I was and become someone else. Someone who used guys and cared too much about materialistic shit. I had a promotion at work waiting for me after the Christmas break, and I didn't even care.

I'd give it all up for James. The career, the fancy apartment, the luxurious car, and all the expensive watches, suits, and shoes. I didn't want any of it if it meant losing James.

After picking myself up from the floor, I had thrown on a pair of sweats, a long-sleeved shirt, and a jacket before going outside on my balcony.

Snow fell in large flakes, dancing in the sky before it reached the ground below.

The image of James with his arms outstretched, looking up at the night sky as snow fell around him flashed in my head, and I held onto the railing, needing the support.

" _It's perfect." He said, closing his eyes. "It's snowing."_

 _Some flakes fell into his hair and the ones that landed on his rosy cheeks melted right away._

He had looked so beautiful that night, dancing in the snow. If only I would've known then what I knew now. I would've treasured it more. Cherished every moment with him.

Tears streamed down my face and I looked at the giant clock on the church straight ahead, one counting down the time until Christmas.

Ten minutes until my deadline.

 _Every snowflake is unique, you know." James said, holding his hand out to catch one. "Beautiful, yet fragile. They say if you catch one in the palm of your hand, and can make a wish before it melts, that wish will come true."_

My heart was breaking, and it was difficult to breathe. All of my memories of him would be gone in only a matter of minutes.

If he called me tomorrow, wanting to work things out between us, I wouldn't feel the same as I did now.

What if I didn't want him anymore? He'd believe he was right about me being like all the others, and I'd just be another name added to the list of guys who'd hurt him.

The sadness in his eyes before he'd left haunted me.

Neither of us was better off in this life. I might have an amazing job, but I didn't have him. I didn't have love. And he had trust issues, something he'd never had in our original life. How could I have known that one stupid wish would alter so much?

A wish.

I focused on the snow, and James' words echoed back to me. He'd made up the myth about snow granting wishes, but what could it hurt?

"I wish I'd never made the first wish." I said as I caught a snowflake on my finger.

It melted right as it landed.

After speaking, I looked around with a hopeful expression, waiting to be pulled out of this reality and go back home.

It didn't happen.

"I wish I was back in my old life." I said a little louder, tilting my head to stare above me. Snow fell on my face, melting just as it touched my skin. When nothing happened, more tears sprang my eyes. "I wish I was home with James."

Leaning on the railing, I lowered my head and cried.

"I want my old life back! My old, shitty car that breaks down sometimes, mine and Jay's house that creaks and might not be that big, but it's ours. But most of all, I just want my James back. To fall asleep beside him every night and wake up to him every morning."

Glancing up, I saw the town come alive around me.

Even though it was late, lights reflected through the windows in the building in front of me. Probably kids staying awake as long as possible to try and get a peek at Santa. Christmas lights twinkled from the park, where even at my distance, I could still see the large decorated tree and the bright, blinking star on top.

Another look at the clock on the church, and I saw it was eleven fifty. Only five minutes before my world changed forever.

Taking my phone from my pocket, I scrolled through my contacts until I found James. A gut feeling told me he wouldn't answer, but I called anyway.

After a handful of rings, it went to his voicemail.

"Hey, Jay." I said after the beep. "We left things really weird between us tonight. I know you need some time to think, and I understand that. And I know this might sound weird, but when you talk to me again, I might not be the Kendall you remember." My throat tightened and a small whine escaped my lips. "I love you so much, baby. Never forget that. Please be patient with me if you ever see me again. Please don't give up on me. Fuck, Jay… I love you more than anything."

Before I broke down, I hung up and put the phone in my jacket pocket.

The snow fell faster, adding to the layers already sticking to the grass and atop the buildings. I exhaled, watching my breath fan out in front of me.

That's when a large snowflake landed on my arm.

I smiled as more tears fell from my eyes. James would love it. I could see how his face would light up when he saw it, and that bashful grin would curve his mouth. He'd probably say something about it being magical.

"I just wish James was happy." I whispered, staring at the snowflake. I might have to be miserable in this life, but I needed him to find happiness. Somehow. "That's all I want. He deserves the world and more. And if I can't give it to him, I want him to find someone who can."

The clock hit five 'til midnight, and I closed my eyes, feeling the tears running down my cheeks turn cold as the winter air hit them.

"I love you, Jay." I whispered. "Always."

* * *

 **Done! So...yeah, not much to say here. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will be the final one, so you'll get to see the aftermath of everything. That will most likely be up tomorrow.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again everyone! We've reached the finish line!**

 **Before we get into the final chapter/epilogue, I'd like to thank everyone that's read this story! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, Side1ways, winterschild11, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing every chapter! I've loved hearing your thoughts throughout the story! :)**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I knew it was morning before I opened my eyes. My heart was heavy, and I didn't want to wake up to do anything.

Being sad on Christmas was awful. Everyone around me would be celebrating with laughs, smiles, and warm hugs, whereas I'd be trying to hold myself together as best as I could. Without love, nothing else mattered.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, not ready to face the day without James. He'd always made Christmas day so special, and-

 _Wait…_

 _James!_

I wasn't supposed to still have memories of him.

Opening my eyes, I realized I was in the living room of our old house, lying on the couch. I sat up and looked around, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

The Christmas tree was in the corner exactly how we'd put it up, framed pictures of me and James hung on the wall, and the fireplace wasn't the fancy one from my apartment, but it was older and had ashes left in it from the logs that burned the night before.

 _This is impossible._

As confusion clouded my mind, a noise sounded from the other room. My heart skipped a beat.

Footsteps came down the hall before something clanked in the kitchen. A cabinet opened, followed by the refrigerator opening and shutting.

My eyes watered, and I leapt off the couch, nearly tripping on my shoes in the floor.

"Jay?" I called as I ran into the kitchen.

He flipped around, and his expression made me remember how we'd left things between us the night before. His eyes were pained, and his chin trembled. He was already dressed, wearing a red sweater and charcoal skinny jeans.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." He said before looking away. "I called my mom, and I'm going over there around noon. She was going to come over here like usual, but I didn't think you'd like that."

Tears blurred my vision.

"Is this real?" I asked, afraid to get my hopes up. "Or am I dreaming?"

James hadn't fallen in love with me in time, so the wish should've completed. I shouldn't be in our house with him.

He looked back and tilted his head. "What? Are you feeling okay? I don't-"

Before he finished his sentence, I was across the room and enclosing his body in my arms. And when his confused, hazel-eyed gaze met mine, I kissed him. I whimpered against his mouth before deepening the kiss.

His lips felt real. Soft and warm. He smelled real. Like lavender and a subtle hint of his cologne.

Pulling back, I cupped his face in my hands, staring at him like it'd been ages since I'd seen his handsome face. To me, that's what it felt like.

"I'm so sorry, Jay. For focusing too much on my work, being distant recently, missing Christmas Eve plans, and for arguing with you last night." The tears in my eyes finally fell. "Fuck, James. I'm sorry for everything. I love you so much and I never want to lose you again. I'm nothing without you."

I couldn't stop touching him. I was afraid if I let go, he'd leave me and I'd wake up in my apartment, alone and miserable.

"What do you mean again? You never lost me." He scrunched his brow. "And why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just...I just had a bad dream." I said, stroking the corner of his lips with my thumb. "But I'm awake now."

James started to smile, but stopped. "What about all the things you said last night? That you hate my traditions and are bored." His tone became hoarse and his eyes watered. "You're not happy with me."

"I was an idiot." I said, grabbing his hand. "Yeah, the promotion at work would be awesome because I know I'm the best guy for the job, but I'm tired of kissing asses and spending more time with my boss than with you."

He scoffed. "I've always said that you'll get the promotion eventually. You just need to prove it with your work, Kendall. Your ideas are out of this world amazing, and once they see that, you'll have that corner office in no time."

"I see that now." I said, smiling and squeezing his hand a little tighter. "James Diamond, you are everything right in my life, and without you, I wouldn't have anything. I wouldn't _be_ anything but an empty shell of myself. You've never tried to change who I am. You've just taken the good parts of me and made me better." My thumb smoothed over his engagement ring. "I want to marry you and spend each day of the rest of our lives showing you just how much I love you."

His forehead creased.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right?" He asked.

"I have you, Jay. I've never been better."

Then, I kissed him, pushing him against the counter. He moaned into my mouth and gripped my sides, swirling his eager tongue against mine.

Fuck, he tasted incredible. I couldn't believe I was actually with him.

Relief coursed through me, and I kissed him deeper, tangling my fingers in his hair.

It might have only been a day since I'd had sex with him, but in _this_ reality-the real one-it had been over two weeks. Maybe even longer than that. Everything had been going wrong in our relationship: communication, bonding, and sex. For days, we'd hardly said two words to each, and when we had, we bickered.

In my quest to get everything I wanted, I'd forgotten about the one thing that mattered most.

"Will you fuck me?" James asked in a pant as I kissed down his throat and pressed more against him.

"No." I said, staring into his handsome face. "But I'll make love to you."

HIs answering smile made my heart soar.

XxX

A few hours later, James was in the dining room with his mom. He'd told her to come over to our house after all, and they were sitting at the table after Christmas dinner-that'd been more like a late lunch-visiting and catching up on each other's lives.

I had snuck off, just to get a little time to myself to think.

James and I'd had one hell of an amazing morning. I'd carried him to the bedroom and made love to him like I never had before. And then, he'd made love to me. No other time had ever been so soul-shattering.

There hadn't been a deadline hanging over my head, no drama from ex-boyfriends, or any of the other shit the other reality had shown me. It had just been me and him. Getting lost in each other and blocking out the rest of the world.

In the living room, I stared at the clock on the mantel, one that was no longer frozen or counting down the hours I had left.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A voice said from behind me.

Turning, I looked at Nick.

"I would say I'm surprised to see you, but I'm kind of used to it now." I said, putting my hands in my hoodie pocket.

He smiled and approached the fireplace. He wore red pants, a white shirt, and red suspenders. A red knit hat was pulled over his head, and his white beard appeared a little longer than the last time I'd seen him.

"Not that I'm not thankful, but… how am I here?" I asked once he was beside me.

"You made a wish." He answered in a casual way.

"I recall making a crap load of wishes, Nick." I looked at the clock again, studying the golden swirls. "James didn't fall in love with me in time. And yet, I still woke up here." I returned my gaze to him, hoping he had an explanation. "How?"

"On that balcony, you did something remarkable, Kendall." He said, lifting a hand to rub at his beard. "All this time, you've only thought of yourself. Your needs and your wants. Sure, you realized you love James and wanted to be with him again, but you still centered it on yourself. To make _your_ life better." His eyes flashed to me, observing me through his glasses. "But as you stood out there in the snow, you made a wish that was selfless, one where you put your needs aside and focused on James. His needs. You wished for his happiness, even if it meant your unhappiness. That, my boy, is love."

I didn't know how to respond as I absorbed his words.

"So, this _was_ a Disney thing." I finally said, smirking. "True love broke the spell. Just not in the way I thought it would."

Nick chuckled, and it was a deep, jolly sound that shook his whole upper body. "If that helps you understand it, then yes. I'm overjoyed to see everything worked out as it should."

"Me too." I said before giving a short laugh. "Do you want your clock back? There might be another person somewhere who needs a harsh smack of reality."

"That won't be necessary." Nick looped his thumbs under his suspenders and stared at the clock. "It's yours, Kendall. Whenever you see it, you'll remember what's important in life."

I quirked a brow. "Nick… are you Santa Claus?"

As the question left my mouth, I felt stupid, but I had to know.

He smiled, and his blue eyes did that twinkling thing again. "Enjoy your life, Kendall. Love is the greatest gift of all. Now, you will never forget it. Merry Christmas."

And then he was gone… as in he fucking vanished.

"Babe?" James poked his head around the corner. "Everything okay?"

I met his stare and felt my chest swell with indescribable warmth, one that wound from my heart and down into my stomach.

"Yeah, I was just looking at your clock." I said, motioning to it on the mantel. "Do you still want me to return it?"

James walked over and wrapped his arms around me from behind, nuzzling his face into my shoulder. "No. I want to keep it. I'm sorry I was ungrateful. We both said some pretty mean things."

I draped my arms over his and swayed a bit.

He smiled against my back and moved with me.

"What are you boys up to?"

We turned to see James' mom in the entryway to the living room, smiling and holding a large mug of hot cocoa. Her brunet hair was the same shade as James' and it curled around her face.

When James let his hair grow out, it curled a bit, too. It was evident in how the pieces around his ears sprung up in little curly Q's when he hadn't had a trim in a while.

"Well, what are you two waiting for?" She asked, going to sit on the cream colored, high back Victorian chair. "Get the presents. We have some unwrapping to do."

James smiled and went to the tree. He bent and grabbed a few boxes before standing back up and handing one to me and one to his mom.

Before I opened mine, I got one of his and handed it to him, kissing him on the neck after he took it.

"I love you, Jay."

He stared at me, and his eyes were full of love and wonder. "I love you, too, Ken."

No gift under the tree was as wonderful as the one I already had with James.

 _Thank you, Nick_ , I thought to myself and hoped somehow he could hear me.

I'd gotten my Christmas wish after all. It was just one I hadn't realized until now. He had given me my life back.

And I knew, without a doubt, I was right where I wanted to be.

* * *

 _One Year Later_

"Did you remember to get the vanilla extract?" James asked over the phone.

I smiled as I drove home on Christmas Eve. "Yeah, babe. I got it."

I'd had to work today, but I'd only stayed until noon, telling Gustavo I had plans with my husband. I wasn't able to make the parade, unfortunately, because we had a meeting with a new client that morning, but James had understood.

I wasn't missing anything else, though.

"Oh! What about the flour?" A cabinet creaked open before shutting. "I just looked and I don't think we have enough."

"Will you calm down?" I said with a laugh. "I got everything we need. Breath, Jay."

A sharp exhale sounded on his end of the phone. "Okay. Sorry. When will you be home?"

"Look outside."

I pulled into the driveway and shut off the ignition.

The living room curtain opened, and James peeked out. When he saw me, he squealed over the phone and hung up as he disappeared from my sight. The front door swung open and he ran outside.

My heart leapt, as if aching to touch him, too.

I got out of the car and was wrapped in his arms seconds later. He kissed my neck and cuddled against my chest. I returned his embrace, resting my cheek on the side of his head.

His hair hung past his ears and waved in such a sexy way.

This past year, he'd decided to try a new look, and even though he looked amazing no matter what he did, I fucking loved his longer hair.

Tilting his chin, I kissed him. He tasted like chocolate, and I grinned against his mouth, knowing he must've gotten into the stash of Christmas candy.

Snow started falling, and we broke apart, staring up at it.

"I didn't know it was supposed to snow today." He said in awe, reaching forward and trying to catch snowflakes in his palm. "Did you?"

I shook my head. "Not that I'm aware of. Maybe someone made a wish for it. Christmas wishes are the most powerful, you know."

James beamed and nuzzled his nose against mine. "You're my Christmas wish, Kendall Knight. Now and always. Every day I'm with you, I fall even more in love."

Kissing him again, my heart nearly burst with love. Just when I thought I couldn't be happier, he said or did something that proved me wrong.

He helped me carry in the groceries, and we sat the bags on the kitchen counter before unloading them. It was mostly ingredients to make his mom's homemade sugar cookies, and also a few things for dinner later. And white wine.

More decorations adorned the house, and I glanced around the room, seeing green garland draped above the doorways, along with glittery red bows and mistletoe.

"You've been busy." I said, admiring his work. "You're like a little Christmas elf."

James giggled and bumped against me. "Enough making fun of me. Here." He handed me a recipe book. "Read me the first step."

For the next twenty minutes, I read him the instructions, and he made the cookie dough. I offered to help, and he'd smiled before letting me crack open one egg into the mixing bowl. We'd laughed when I cracked it too hard and caused pieces of the shell to fall in, too.

Needless to say, I went back to just reading the recipe after that.

Once the dough was wrapped in plastic foil and placed in the refrigerator to cool, I tugged him against me and kissed his jaw.

"How was work today?" He asked, gently rubbing his hands up and down my lower back. "Did the client like your pitch?"

"Yeah, she signed on with us." I said, returning his smile. "We're launching an ad campaign mid-January for her chocolate factory, using Valentine's Day as the incentive to buy."

After last Christmas, I'd gone back into work to my old job.

Jett had come onto me again, and instead of being rude to him like usual, I'd asked if he wanted to have coffee with me during the lunch break. That had allowed us to actually talk, and just like I'd come to know in the other reality, Jett was a great guy.

We'd become friends, and he stopped trying to get into my pants. I also introduced him to Logan-who was an accountant in this reality, which was why I hadn't known him well in the other one-and they'd hit it off just like I'd hoped they would.

They were approaching almost ten months of being a couple.

I'd also gotten the director of marketing job in September. It had happened by accident. Or by fate. Whichever.

There'd been a potential client who hated every pitch Gustavo had given him. The client was Mr. Henderson, the man I'd done the toy campaign for in the other reality. He was a local business owner, but he was an important asset to our company, and Gustavo wanted to reel him in like the big catch he was.

Overhearing my boss talk about it one day, I'd approached him and offered a suggestion. A huge Christmas advertisement, showcasing Mr. Henderson's unique toys as they danced to The Nutcracker. It would give us enough time to create a storyboard and get it filmed in time for the holiday season.

When Gustavo went back to the table with Mr. Henderson, he'd come out of there about half an hour later with a huge smile and a new promotion for me.

"What are you thinking about?" James asked.

"Just how amazing my life is." I answered before looking at him. "But what makes it the most amazing is having you as my husband."

We'd gotten married in the spring, and it had been the best day of my life. The location had been in the park in front of a gazebo and surrounded by our closest friends and his mom. As we'd said our vows, I had cried, which had made James tear up as well.

He'd just looked so fucking beautiful in his tux, and I'd been thankful he was mine. Having almost lost him last Christmas, I didn't take any moment with him for granted.

After the ceremony, we'd had the reception outside at twilight, under a canopy. Fairy lights had hung from some of the trees, creating an almost magical feel. And when we'd had our first dance as husbands, I had kissed him, knowing we had an incredible life ahead of us.

"So you don't regret marrying me?" James asked, pulling me out of my head.

I scrunched my face up in a playful way. "Hmm. Now that you mention it…" He slapped my arm, and I laughed. "No. I don't regret marrying you. You're my everything."

"And you're my heart." He replied, giving me a lovesick look. "Even if you're grumpy sometimes."

"I'm never grumpy." I said, raising my brows. "You're the one who turns into freaking Godzilla when you're hungry."

He rolled his eyes, but grinned when he turned his head.

When it was time to roll the dough, he took it out of the refrigerator and plopped it on the counter. He took some flour and sprinkled it on the surface before spanking the dough, which made me crack a perverted joke.

"Go away." He said with a snort. "I swear, you're worse than a teenager. I'll call you back in here after I put the cookies in the oven."

"Fine." I said before pecking a kiss to his lips. "Love you, sweet thing."

His lips twitched with a smile. "Love you, too."

Christmas music drifted from the living room, and I went that way, softly smiling when I recognized The First Noel.

Exactly one year ago, James and I had stood in this very room, fighting about stupid shit because I'd been so selfish. And I had nearly lost him because of it. So much had changed since then. _I'd_ changed.

I wasn't just a better husband, lover, and friend to James, but I was a better person all around. Happier. I'd gotten a second chance.

My gaze landed on the clock above the fireplace, and I walked closer.

As my fingers traced the golden designs, I smiled. I'd once called it the demon clock from hell, thinking it had taken James away from me, but after the fact, I'd understood that it had helped me.

Now, it sat as a reminder in my life, just like Nick had once said it would.

" _Time is not to be wasted or taken for granted, and this will always remind you that every second is a blessing."_

A reminder that love was the greatest treasure of all.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like Kames got their happy ever after!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and story in general, as well as if you happened to have any favorite parts/moments!**

 **Again, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter/story! I had so much fun with this one, and I love you guys for reading, reviewing and just supporting me in general!**

 **Happy Holidays everyone! And for those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas! :D**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


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